...me...

eyy...

why does it feel so sucks to be alone again... when u got nothin to do, when u r left behind, when no one understands u, when u have no friends... ahahah... but kno what... i enjoyed it, sumhow. i felt like im the most perfect man in the world. too perfect for them to realize. they cant see the bright future deep inside my eyes. they cant feel the warmth of myself. they cant understand about a man that only has one shout to the people: "i juz dun want to be alone"...

haha..

pathetic isnt it?

yeap. pathetic=a desperate man seeking for real love... he even died for that... know he's killing himself... now... by smoking, then by drugs, after that i want to be killed by a shotgun. either it'll be done by me or by somebody... hahah...

suicide... nice word isnt it? very beautiful word that can affect every people's mind and heart... it contradicted itself by the nature of religion. the culture. the people. they only can say 'dont' without giving the solution. so what's their points? dunno yet, but my next ambition is to spread out my shoutout to the world -> 'suicide is best way to end up ur problem'... suicide man.. suicide! im just a weak capricornian who seeks some kind of love.

love? is that another 'nice' word done by me...? NAH... its not!!! love is sucks... dunno why... i just felt like so... cuz everytime i try to love sumone, she always left me with the most sickening act. fuck! i hate it, man... i fuckin hate it... thats why, right now im too scared to make love with everybody. including boys. i fuckin hate relationship, dude... see... i told u, im capricornians... and every capricornians had suicidal tendencies inside our head. no matter how small it is, every capricornians have...

ahhh... sucks... i just want to break up a lil bit. im so fuckin tired and so fuckin sick from all of this. i fuckin' hate everybody. i fuckin' hate myself. i just want to die, man... i just want to put a nice shotgun inside my mouth and start triggering it. just like kurt cobain did...

but,

i won't die as a stranger. I WILL DIE AS WELL KNOWN PERSON. no matter i'll be a rockstar, politician or rapist. i swear everyone will know me and after that... bam... i'll shoot my own head... ahhh... cant wait for that moment to come... ahahahah...

see, im psycho isnt it?

well, the correct term for that is schyzophrenia...

sumhow, i felt like i have a different 'me'. and that different 'me' is always pushing and pushing me to straight up a lil bit. but fuck man, i can't. i juz want to be me. i want to kill the other me. so that's why i want to kill myself...

ahhh... fuck...

go fuck ur mom,
i'm leaving now...

xoxo,
xxrejectedxx