Diary of The Loser

Check It Out!

2007-04-22T17:05:00.000+07:00

Heyyy,,

check my another blog also -> http://xxrejectedxx.deadjournal.com/

pls do drop a comment or two, kay!

It's Not Your Fault

2007-04-15T12:31:00.000+07:00

It was a cold California,
Even in the summer
She was wrapped in a blanket by the pool
There were rapid statements
About life commitments
A sense of heat that I couldn't bear to touch
I couldn't bear it

It's not your fault,
So please stop your crying now
It's not your fault,
So please stop your crying now
Please stop your crying now
Now

There was staring in seclusion
A fine tuned way of motion
A face wrapped for a suitor
The sound of hearts pumping at the same beat
Coming around the corner
In almost all directions
A sense of heat that I couldn't bear to touch
No, I couldn't bear it

It's not your fault,
So please stop your crying now
It's not your fault,
So please stop your crying now
So please stop your crying

Now you wait for something to cure this
While I'm here under your down pour

It's not your fault,
So please stop your crying now
It's not your fault,
So please stop your crying
It's not your fault

It's not your fault,
So please stop your crying now
I'ts not your fault,
So please stop your crying now

No,It's not your fault,
So please stop your crying now
It's not your fault
Please stop crying now

SAYAT!

2007-04-10T14:44:00.000+07:00

AYO MENYAYAT!
daging kambing
daging unta
daging kijang
daging domba

SAYATAN HATI YANG SEDANG RESAH

MARAH!!

HUJAN HUJATAN!!

TERIAKAN!!

dagingku
dagingku,,

MENGADUH!!!

MARI SAYAT DAGINGKU

cungkil lah,,,

hingga aku tak merasa apa-apa,,

Aku Kangen (Dunia Ini Indah Tanpamu)

2007-04-10T14:31:00.000+07:00

kuhanya ingin tahu apa arti dari semua ini
semua perasaan yang kurasa
yang kutiti dengan hati-hati
seperti debur ombak yang menghantam karang lautan
seperti riak gelombang pasang mengalun di sela dinginnya malam
sungguh indah perasaan ini,,

inilah perasaanku
inilah gejolak jiwa yang sedang marah
yang sedang sedih
yang sedang ingin berteriak
yang sedang ingin mengaduh
mengeluh pada Tuhan

inginku merangkak di sela kegelapan malam
menyobek tabir yang menutupi segala terang nya
satu demi satu kata yang terucap dari bibir ini
rupanya hanya satu rasa yang kurasa

aku kangen,,

sekarang,
apakah aku sedang gila?

tidak, rupanya tidak,
aku hanya sedang mencari arti hidup
aku hanya sedang merentang asa
aku hanya sedang berdiam

dibalik nafinya diriku
kututupi dengan tahi-tahi hangat
manis madu dan pahit racun
aku hanya tidak ingin semua orang tahu kalau

aku kangen,,

bipolar,,

2007-04-09T20:51:00.000+07:00

i love the pain
but i hate sufferin,,

i love to be lonely
but i'm afraid to be left away,,

i love to mourn
but i want to be happy,,

i love to slit my wrist
but i dun wanna die,,

i love to be honest
but i dun wanna everyone knows

i love to be me
but i just wanna be dead,,

my god! i got bipolar!

one night of mine,,

2007-04-09T15:43:00.000+07:00

this place is dead,
and so am i,,
im walking around and see the stary night,,
i lift my head,
and see the sky,,
our promised star still set down right,,

i jump to bed
and start askin why,
i couldn't help, i can't sleep tight
this thought to shed,
feelin to cry
please just turn off the light,,

i wanna swallow these pills,
hit the trigger outta my head,,
the memories keep running still,,
don't say sorry when i'm dead,,

School Is So Uncool

2007-04-06T17:12:00.000+07:00

one, two, three, four
i left all minutes to nearly hour
five, six, seven, eight
running around not to be late
nine, ten, eleven, twelve
I LOST MY TIME IN BOOK SHELF!

FUCK THE SCHOOL!!
WE NEED JOB NOT SCHOOL!!
I KNOW IT'S SO UNCOOL
WANNA TELL ME THE CORRECT TOOL TO?

What Do You Want To Be?

2007-04-01T19:13:00.000+07:00

hi, my name is dika,, my friends used to call me 'dick' or 'dickhead', cuz i got funny name similar to that 'thing',, beside, before i got bald head and curvy shape of head with chubby cheek, made me much more similar to it,, but thats okay, im proud of my name,, rahadiandhika bagus widiandaru,, 'my son is a man who is a grace from God, we hope his life is righteous from today until later',,

born 18 years ago at 3 pm in calm, sunny afternoon,, it was a small hospital where i was born,, witnessed by 2 nurse and 1 doctor, without my dad,, yea, my mom said my dad was out in home for some reason, till now i got no clear reason behind it, i was born by caesar,, pretty much ticklish though,, cuz i am my mother's first born son,, it should be no caesar at all,, i have no idea about the pain,, as far as i know, caesar left no pain, cuz it was anesthized,, my position was not okay for normal birth,, so they decided to pull me out with caesar,, see, even when i was born i made trouble with them,, teehee,,

i didnt remember anything when those time passes,, all i can remember was a lil bit dark room and no sound at all,, i was taken by the nurse to a place where i got myself cleaned,, it was the first time i memorized what people called this world,, i still can remember the air, the warm water and the situation,, very calm,, and also, that hospital got a lot of trees which make the situation even more cool,, that is, 13 january 1989,, the day i was born,,

my mom and dad said i was so active when i was baby,, when i got my first baby-walker, i ran like hell,, go-that-way-and-this-way with full of speed,, just like running,, even when i am in bathroom,, i was still very excited with my new abilities,, that is 'walking',, yea,, i was one and couple of months,, and it came to disaster when i dropped myself to the ground,, i still can't remember how it felt but i bet it was so hurt,, no wonder why cuz i was never dropped myself before, moreover i was baby when that time,, my mom said i fell down the first time bathroom floor,, i escaped from my mom's guidance and ran into the bathroom,, it was slimy and i couldnt control myself,, and i fell down,, i was crying,, loud and clear,, maybe i was hoping someone to help me and taken care of me in that moment, that's why im crying,, but it wasnt,, yea of course i got myself risen up by my father but after that my father scold me,, and he spanked my butt,, it was hurt,, but even more hurt when my father was mad at me,, i was a baby but i could feel the disappoinment of my father,, i could feel the worries of my father,, i could feel my father's.. love,, in fact i realized just now that it was my first lesson. my first lesson of bravery, carefulness and obedience,, i didnt realize it until i grown up,, i thought my father was not love me, but that moment really help me not to be ordinary man,, my first lesson as a child,,

when i saw my baby photos, i realize that i love to laugh when i was baby,, 80% of it shown when i was laughin, or at least, smile,, i was sooo cute,, not meant to be narcist but its true,, everybody loved me because of my attitude,, chubby face, nice wavy hair and beautiful eyes,, my maid (when she was still alive) told me that i am the most handsome prince she ever saw,, hehe,, lil bit nice!

but actually its not,, when i was in kindegarten i was so coward,, i cried a lot,, when i didnt picked up in the game i went backside and cried,, when i was hitted by another child i cried again,, even i had no guts to enter the class without my mom,,

it was my first day in the kindegarten,, my first school,, my first socialization with people,, i was so coward like i told u,, i thought my mom would leave me alone with these people and never returned back,, she left me in the class with all of other unknown i had never known before,, i cried,,

after two hours spent in that hell i went out to look back after my mom,, and she was there,, watching me without moving outside on the window,, i was soo happy,, another lesson from my mother that nobody they loved will ever leave me,, i didnt realize it that time but i realized it now that they love me so much but they have funny way to show it,, at least funny enough for 3 years old child to realize,, hahha,,

(to be continued sampe saya mood lg bwt nglanjutinny :p)

hood,,

2006-12-31T10:22:00.000+07:00

small kids in our hood asked their parents to change their cellphone every two months,,
while small kids in the hood struggle for water every day,,

small kids in our hood spent money in the starbucks coffee shop,,
while small kids in the hood struggle for food every day,,

small kids in our hood wasted their day for their boyfriend,,
while small kids in the hood struggle for attention from the world,,

small kids in our hood learnt love from their partner,,
while small kids in the hood learnt love from the street, where nobody cares bout them,,

small kids in our hood rode mercedes, bmw and lexus,,
while small kids in the hood struggle to keep on walking while their feet bleed,,

small kids in our hood bought beautiful flower to be given to their lover,,
while small kids in the hood struggle just to know what the real flower is,,

small kids slept in the warm room and water bed,,
while small kids in the hood slept in the ground surrounded with skies,,

small kids decided to have fun every day,,
while small kids in the hood struggle for a mile just to have 1 hour lesson,,

small kids in our hood wore guess, prada and channel,,
while small kids in the hood wore another people's dress,,

small kids in our hood wore expensive jeweleries,,
while small kids in the hood struggle just to keep alive,,

small kids in our hood always complain how bad their food is,,
while small kids in the hood even sleep with hunger every day,,

small kids in our hood cried why they had a bad life,,
while small kids in the hood struggle just to keep smiling every day,,

we call this place hood,,
and they call their place heaven,,

xoxo,
xxrejectedxx

haiku makasi temple,,

2006-12-19T14:23:00.000+07:00

when i am hungry,,

i look no further to one

place we called temple,,

haiku, 19 dec 2006

ABCD

2006-12-19T13:58:00.000+07:00

huahh,, ada yang mulai nglanjutin blog ni y,, saya juga tidak mau kalah! huahuah,,

tetapi apakah yang mau saya tulis?

halah,,

cape la,,

abcd:

ah, bego! cape dee,,

xoxo,
xxrejectedxx

haiku tangis,,

2006-12-15T14:12:00.000+07:00

anjing menggonggong
ya, kafilah berlalu,
ku pun begitu,,

berteriaklah,
mengaduhlah wanita,
ku tak mau tahu,,

cukup bagiku,
sakitku terhadapmu
bagai lembayung,,

ini hujanku,
badai, tetes di mata,
ku ingin pergi,,

surga menjelang,
neraka menjilatku,
aku pun mati,,

haiku, 15 dec 2006

heartbreaker?? huahuahauaha

2006-12-13T23:03:00.000+07:00

hihihihiihh,, kadang gw suka geli sendiri tiap kali liat fs mantan gw,, hihihiihh,, y elaa,, heartbreaker?? huahuahauahaha,, anjingg,, sumpaa,, ngakakk abis gw,, huahuahauahauha,, heartbreaker yahh??? huahuahauhauaha,, XDDDD

y mpunn,, sobb,, lo da ngancurin ati sapaa?? gw?? sorii niy kalo gw rada geer dikitt,, tapi y mpunnnn,, justru gw malah seneng lageeh,, ati gw g serapuh itu koo,, dannn,, lebih lagi, dari dulu gw emang g punya perasaan papa ke elo koo,, swear. i was just tryin to work it upp. but it didnt workk,, lagiann,, sapa dulu yang ngmg2 minta balikk,, huahauhuahauha,, y mpunnn,, dasr bocahh,,

anjingg,, huahauahuahauaha,, anjingggg,, kocak abis da lo yaa,,

2006-11-12T18:57:00.000+07:00

i trusted her so much. within all of my heart. i DO love her. i kno i did so many fucked up things in the past...

dunno what to think.

nor to say.

i want to be with her always.

everybody doesnt know what i felt

2006-11-09T21:38:00.000+07:00

huhu

2006-11-09T21:33:00.000+07:00

haeh

males

TAI

...me...

2006-08-09T15:40:00.000+07:00

eyy...

why does it feel so sucks to be alone again... when u got nothin to do, when u r left behind, when no one understands u, when u have no friends... ahahah... but kno what... i enjoyed it, sumhow. i felt like im the most perfect man in the world. too perfect for them to realize. they cant see the bright future deep inside my eyes. they cant feel the warmth of myself. they cant understand about a man that only has one shout to the people: "i juz dun want to be alone"...

haha..

pathetic isnt it?

yeap. pathetic=a desperate man seeking for real love... he even died for that... know he's killing himself... now... by smoking, then by drugs, after that i want to be killed by a shotgun. either it'll be done by me or by somebody... hahah...

suicide... nice word isnt it? very beautiful word that can affect every people's mind and heart... it contradicted itself by the nature of religion. the culture. the people. they only can say 'dont' without giving the solution. so what's their points? dunno yet, but my next ambition is to spread out my shoutout to the world -> 'suicide is best way to end up ur problem'... suicide man.. suicide! im just a weak capricornian who seeks some kind of love.

love? is that another 'nice' word done by me...? NAH... its not!!! love is sucks... dunno why... i just felt like so... cuz everytime i try to love sumone, she always left me with the most sickening act. fuck! i hate it, man... i fuckin hate it... thats why, right now im too scared to make love with everybody. including boys. i fuckin hate relationship, dude... see... i told u, im capricornians... and every capricornians had suicidal tendencies inside our head. no matter how small it is, every capricornians have...

ahhh... sucks... i just want to break up a lil bit. im so fuckin tired and so fuckin sick from all of this. i fuckin' hate everybody. i fuckin' hate myself. i just want to die, man... i just want to put a nice shotgun inside my mouth and start triggering it. just like kurt cobain did...

but,

i won't die as a stranger. I WILL DIE AS WELL KNOWN PERSON. no matter i'll be a rockstar, politician or rapist. i swear everyone will know me and after that... bam... i'll shoot my own head... ahhh... cant wait for that moment to come... ahahahah...

see, im psycho isnt it?

well, the correct term for that is schyzophrenia...

sumhow, i felt like i have a different 'me'. and that different 'me' is always pushing and pushing me to straight up a lil bit. but fuck man, i can't. i juz want to be me. i want to kill the other me. so that's why i want to kill myself...

ahhh... fuck...

go fuck ur mom,
i'm leaving now...

xoxo,
xxrejectedxx

...Love, Like...

2006-08-09T15:29:00.000+07:00

In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster
But..
In front of the person you love, you get happy

In front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter
But..
In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring

If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush
But..
If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile

In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy
But..
In front of the person you love, you can show your own self

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like
But..
You can always smile and stare into the eyes of the one you love

When the one you like is crying, you end up comforting
But..
When the one you love is crying, you cry with them

The feeling of like starts from the ear
But..
The feeling of love starts from the eye

If you stop liking a person u used to like,
all you need to do is cover your ears
But..
If you try to close your eyes,
love turns into a drop of tears and remains in your heart

forever

...How Fool I Am...

2006-08-09T14:45:00.000+07:00

how fool i am

i let you touched my heart

how fool i am

i filled my mind with memories about you

how fool i am

i put my hope on you

how fool i am

i closed the window of my heart for the other stars

how fool i am

because i thought that you’re my morning star

how fool i am

i haven’t realize that i’m not allowed to wait you anymore

how fool i am

because i still see you as my morning star

The Suicidal Note of Kurt Donald Cobain, 1967-1994

2006-07-31T17:47:00.000+07:00

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.

Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

ps. : ... someday I would like to die like he did... Ummmhh... How 'bout now?

...Cigarette...

2006-07-31T11:15:00.000+07:00

Watching the days burning out like a cigarette, just a few drags to go
You built me up and you broke me down somehow
Everything just seemed so clear to me, nothing left to know
I'll love you right and I'll love you pure, right now

How can you say, that it's too late
To save us now

And I would wait for you (oh), if you would wait for me (yeah)
And I will wait for you (oh), if you will wait for me (yeah)

Intoxicated the edge is serrated, so easily torn from the core
I blushed the first time, but you blushed the last time my eyes in your mind
Regenerated these feelings of hatred, I long for your love evermore
You built me up and you broke me down this time

And I would wait for you (oh), if you would wait for me (yeah)
And I will wait for you (oh), if you will wait for me (yeah)

How can you say, that it's too late
To save us now

How can you say

2006-07-26T20:39:00.000+07:00

...aiiihhhh...

...beruntung bgt gw bisa duduk sebelahan ma cewe cakeppp...

...God, if these is your plan, please let me be her boyfriend...

:-p

...HAI...

2006-07-26T18:51:00.000+07:00

HAIIII YANG LAGI LIATIN BLOG SAYA...

BAGI NO TELP NY DUNXX....

:-P

!!!No one like Mother, Love You!!!

2006-07-18T14:27:00.000+07:00

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.
You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love.
You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons.
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud.

When you were 6 years old, she walked you toschool.
You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor's window.

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all overyour lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastic to one birthday party after another.
You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.
You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.
You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.
You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how todrive her car.
You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your highschool graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone.
You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business."

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future.
You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you."

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.
You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future.
You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-ther,please!"

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you.
You thanked her bymoving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."

When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday.
You thanked her by saying youw ere "really busy right now."

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART...

...Slight Little Notes From Yesterday's Opening Ceremonial...

2006-07-18T10:57:00.000+07:00

Meet Tommy. One of kewl guy from Myanmar.

And the next to him is Dika (it's me :-p), the kewlest guy in Shelton. :-p

See? I'm VERY KEWL!!! :-p

Am I look like a Myanmarese guy or not? :-p

With people from Myanmarese embassy.. :-p

Who's he? Meet ... (fuck, I forgot his name... :-p). One of the kewlest Bangladeshian guy.

2006-07-05T20:54:00.000+07:00

Uuuhhh... Sy gak tau harus seneng ato harus (sigh...) sedih begitu saya nyampe di tanah antah berantah ini. Kesan pertamanya sehh, asik juga... Semuanya klin bgt, man!!! Serba teratur!!! Malah kalo kamu2 smua liat dijalanan y, para sopir2 mobilnya tu taat bgt ma peraturan jalanan. Mereka tu kayaknya saling ngalah buat ngasih jalan duluan buat mobil di belakangnya... Wahh... Salut bgt... Sampe saya mikir gini, kalo gini terus kapan nyampenya tu mobil... :-p

Dih, tapi pas hari pertama saya di bagian imigrasi tu rese bgt... Masa cuman saya ma bokap saya yang digeledah barang2nya... Sementara orang2 lain kaga diperiksa... Lucu kan... Mentang2 saya orang Indo... Uhhh... Tapi emang, tu orang Imigrasi yang dari India asli rese... Rokok... Yang gw bw cuman 3 bungkus... Diwajibin bayar pajak, jek.. $500... !!!AnJInGgGGgg!!!

Tapi ya sudahlah... $500 dolar ini... Apalah artinya buat saya ini (ciieehh.... :-p). Setelah saya menunggu hampir kurang lebih 2 jam di Harbor Front (kita salah paham sama orang dari college saya... :-p), dan terkagum-kagum oleh negara ini (maklum... orang udik... :-p)... Sampailah saya di tempat kuliah saya sekaligus tempat tinggal saya selama beberapa tahun ini.

Kesan pertama c...

Begitu gw jalan dikit...

Saat gw liat kamar gw...

Liat kamar mandinya...

Gw bukannya kenapa2 c jek y... Dan sorry too say aja ni y, bukan maksud gw untuk ngebanding2in... Tapi sumpah... GEDUNGNYA JUELLEEKKK BGT.... Kalah ma Dempo... Kamarnya... Beee... jangan ditanya... Masih lebih keren kamar pembokat gw... Aaraarrgghhhh... Yang lebih parah lagi, gw tu satu kamar ma orang Cina yang SAMA SEKALI GAK BISA BAHASA INGGRIS!!! Naa tu, coba bayangin, gimana perasaan lo saat itu... Untung aja selama 2 minggu ada anak2 dari Global Prestasi yang summer camp di Shelton ini... jadi paling engga masih nyambung lahh, kalo diajak ngomong... :-p

Eh, tapi ini sekedar sharing aja c ya... Kayaknya tu Tuhan punya rencana sendiri dengan nempatin gw di tempat kaya gini. Dengan disini gw tu ngerasa bisa makin deket ma Tuhan, dan percaya ato gak, Tuhan tu selalu ngejawab doa kita dengan cara yang gak terduga!

Contohnya gini nih ya, disuatu malem gw lagi saat teduh (selama disini gw jadi makin sering buat saat teduh... :-p), gw trus doa sama Tuhan biar besok hari2 gw engga nge-bete-in... Eh beneran, besoknya gw cabut ma anak2 Global maen ke Orchard, en muter2 ampe kaki pada budut... :-p Trus ada lagi, gw tu doa biar gw punya temen orang asing, eh beneran, malemnya gw kenalan ma orang Nepal... :-p

Aduh, pokoknya lo pade kaga' rugi dah kalo lo doa sama Tuhan Yesus... Tuhan selalu tau yang terbaik buat kita. Sekarang gw pun yakin kalo Tuhan nempatin gw di barak tentara gini pasti ada alasannya... Gw yakin, pasti suatu hari nanti gw dapet jawabannya... Yang pingin gw tekankan disini adalah, Tuhan itu hidup! Dan Tuhan selalu denger doa kamu, dan ngejawabnya, entah dalam cara apapun...!!!

!!!Remember This, Kids!!!

2006-06-20T13:38:00.000+07:00

A lot of people don't want to make their own decisions. They're too scared. It's much easier to be told what to do.
Marilyn Manson

Anybody intelligent enough to realize what America is, is not going to sit around and do nothing about it. They're going to be the same way that I am. They're going to be the same way our fans are. They're going to be pissed.
Marilyn Manson

Find out what's really out there. I never said to be like me, I say be like you and make a difference.
Marilyn Manson

I never said to be like me, I say to be like you and make a difference.
Marilyn Manson

I think art is the only thing that's spiritual in the world. And I refuse to forced to believe in other people's interpretations of God. I don't think anybody should be. No one person can own the copyright to what God means.
Marilyn Manson

I view my job as being someone who is supposed to piss people off. I don't want to be just one-of-the-guys. I don't want to be just a smiling face you see on television presenting some vapid kind of easily-digestible garbage.
Marilyn Manson

In the end we're all Jerry Springer Show guests, really, we just haven't been on the show. Marilyn Manson

Is adult entertainment killing our children? or is killing our children entertaining our adults?
Marilyn Manson

It's the whole Nietzche philosophy of you are your own God. That's why I debase myself in the concerts and tell people to spit on me. I'm saying to them 'You are no different from me'. Marilyn Manson

Marilyn Monroe wasn't even her real name, Charles Manson isn't his real name, and now, I'm taking that to be my real name. But what's real? You can't find the truth, you just pick the lie you like the best.
Marilyn Manson

Part of me is afraid to get close to people because I'm afraid that they're going to leave.
Marilyn Manson

The burden of originality is one that most people don't want to accept. They'd rather sit in front of the TV and let that tell them what they're supposed to like, what they're supposed to buy, and what they're supposed to laugh at.
Marilyn Manson

The word 'Antichrist', to me, is the collective disbelief in god.
Marilyn Manson

These people are artists. These people are musicians. They're taking it out and trying to express it that way.
Marilyn Manson

They'll see it. And it doesn't matter if they don't. It's only Rock 'n' Roll. But I do intend to move more into the Mainstream. Marilyn Manson is just the First phase.
Marilyn Manson

We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.
Marilyn Manson

What happens someday if more people own my record than the bible? That will make me god because a lot more people believe in me than HIM? Because it's just about popularity. There are plenty of people in the world how have never heard of Jesus, while America takes him for granted.
Marilyn Manson

When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed.
Marilyn Manson

When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?
Marilyn Manson

!!!Bangga:Pride:Priden:Wakzz:Gdubrak!!!

2006-06-20T13:24:00.000+07:00

Uggghhh... Nilai-Nilaiku...

B. Indonesia -> 9.20

B. Inggris -> 9.60

Ekonomi -> 6.82

ANjJIINnnGGggg....

Kalo dari semula saya sadar betapa pintarnya saya ini, saya akan lebih giat belajar biar nilai2 itu jadi lebih baik lagiiii....!!!!!!!!

Gileee... Gak nyangka saya, ekonomi saya bisa dapet nilai 7 kurangg....

Apalagi ditambah dengan dua buah angka 9......

......WaawaAwaAwawawwawawawaw.....

!!!I'M SO DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF!!!

....HAhaHahAhAHHahaha...

2006-06-20T13:15:00.000+07:00

Lucu juga, mentertawakan diri sendiri yg sangat inferiority complex.. Pernahkah ketika anda masih SMA pergi ke Club atau Diskotik?.. saya pernah! dan bangga banget! Pernah ke New York City?.. my city! tapi bete ama bouncer-nya gak boleh masuk gara-gara umur waktu itu masih 20 lebih 9 bulan! Damn, I Love Indonesia, lebih bebas!

Sapa bilang Amerika negara bebas??? Pernahkan anda melihat (atau merasakan sendiri) sekelompok anak muda minum bir?... wah bukan pemandangan anehdi parkiran Circle K Bandung! every single store! Tau Texas?.. Tau! Kota yang ngga boleh minum alkohol sembarangan kan? mending di Bandung, atau di Jakarta, mau mabok sambil nyetir juga boleh!

Pernahkah anda membeli majalah yang porno, setengah porno -apapun sebutannya- yang covernya adalah wanita berbikini dengan headline 7 Trik Liar Di atas Ranjang?Kupu Kupu Malam Kota Solo dan majalah yang setiap edisinya tidak pernah luput dari kata Mr. Happy? ...

Ngga tuh (Boong!! Liat ada apa di bawah kasur? yang diumpetin di lemari? Bagasi mobil belakang)..

Di mana anda beli majalah Playboy? atau majalah sejenis itu?.. sebelum ke kantor di tukang koran, dan bangga banget punya playboy karena ngga usah subscribe kaya di Amerika, aneh padahal negara USA produsen-nya kok mereka ribet banget sih, harus liatin ID segala?

di Indonesia di emperan juga ada, di mana aja yang penting hatibangga! Siapa yang bangga ada majalah Playboy Indonesia? Siapa yang bangga dengan Cosmopolitan Indonesia? .. Ya orang Indonesia, mereka bangga! Playboy pertama di Asia Tenggara!! (tapi kok di Malaysia malah ngga ada, malahan di Singapore majalah sekelas Cosmopolitan aja dibredel? mereka bodo banget deh)

Kita seneng deh mengadopsi semua hal dari luar negeri!
Siapa yang suka nonton plagiatnya Saturday Night Live?... Gila lucu banget ya? Lucu mana dengan Indonesia yang suka niru?

Siapa yang BENCI Amerika???... KITAAA ORANG INDONESIA BENCI banget Amerika, makanya kita memilih dan senengggg banget minum Pepsi, Beli MC.D, Pake HaPe Motorola, Nonton film Hollywood, Beli I-Pod, Ngopi di Starbucks, Nonton Desperate Housewives, Ikutan Test TOEFL ..

Siapa benci Eropa? dan hal yang kebarat-baratan? ...Kita deh sebagai Orang Indonesia, makanya kita belanja di Mall yang gaya eropabanget, Belanja baju di Mango, Makan Steak, Melakukan free sex biar kaya James Bond dan Matahari (anda pasti tau dong siapa dia kalau anda bisa berkomentar tentang RUUAPP) ..

kita juga sebel banget dengan hal yangkebarat-baratan apalagi eropa, makanya kita pake handphone Nokia dan mobil BMW ..

Mau ngga jadi tuan rumah Miss Universe?... DI INDONESIA??? KAPAN??? SERU BANGET TUH!!! aduh banyak cewek kece pake bikini. Udah malem finalnya di Indonesia aja, daripada di amerika kan udah ditolak, di Puerto Rico kan kemaren males jadi tuan rumah, lagian bukannya sekarang Tuan Rumah Miss Universe sedang dilempar ke negara miskin dan third world karena dianggap basi ama Amerikanya sendiri??

Indonesia sih pasti seneng banget dan bangga banget jadi buangan tuan rumah Miss Universe! Pilih masuk AFI atau jadi juara Olimpiade Fisika? ...AFI dong, kondang bo! kalau bisa semua masukreality show!

Olimpiade Fisika ngapain? paling direkrut ama Singapore atau Jerman, duh pendidikan itu ngga penting di Indonesia .. yang penting outlook, mudah membual, nepotisme.. kalau mau terlihat berpendidikan berlagak sok pinter aja.. asal lo bisa bual tentang playboy, RUU APP, meski belum tentu bener, yang penting ngomong!

Suka Infotainment? ... duuh kita sebagai orang Indonesia tuh seneng banget gila kalau ngomongin orang yang jelek-jeleknya.. Kita selalu haus dengan terbukanya Aib, daripada kaya Singapore yang malah bangga dengan National Geographic? apa gunanya?

Kalau E! chanel suka?.. duh cable masih jarang sih di Indonesia, di Pedesaan belom masuk.. jadi kita ngga tau.. lagian acaranya ngga mutu ya ngomongin artis dari sisi glamour dan kreatifnya doang, kurang ngomongin aib!

Cinta Produk Indonesia?.. duh Soeharto banget sih jamannya ACI, gih ke malaysia aja yang produk lokalnya lebih kepake dari pada Pierre Cardin, Hugo Boss, Esprit, U2 ..
kita lebih suka negara kita "terjajah" dan dibanjiri produk asing ..emang kita Jepang yang produktif? lebih hebat kita dong, Indonesia yang selalu konsumtif tanpa jadi produktif, ampe minyak aja impor .. kita negara terkaya di dunia!

Bisa menari atau menyanyi khas Indonesia?..bisa, aku bisa breakdance dan ngerap pake bahasa Indonesia Apa itu Indonesia?.. Jawa minus Jawa Barat selebihnya negara tetangga,presiden jawa, menteri jawa, pejabat militer jawa,yang bukan orang Indonesia ngga boleh jadi presiden
Jakarta itu apa?.. Ibu Kota, pusat ekonomi, pusat bisnis, pusat pemerintahan, pusat indutrsi, pusat belanja, pusat hiburan, semua terpusat disini deh, ada Taman Mini Indonesia juga makanya untuk apa peduli ama Indonesia yang luas? yang mini-mini aja dulu ..

Tau fungsi dari New York City, Washington D.C, Los Angeles (Hollywood),Nebraska, Texas di Amerika? ..aduh maaf pengetahuan kita terbatas, emang apaan sih? lagian kita tuh benci banget Amerika meski kita baca Playboy (dijawab dengan muka malu)

Dimana letak Bali?.. deket Indonesia
Apa arti Bhineka Tunggal Ika? .. biar beda dipaksa satu! tidak ada perbedaan yang ada penyatuan, negara hebat kan bisa mempersatukan yang beda ??

WOW Ada apa di program TV Indonesia selain beritanya?.. ada acara yang semua acaranya bisa didapet di TV-TV lain, pokoknya sejenis semua, ya Bhineka Tunggal Ika tadi.. kita kan lebih peduli rating (ssst! jangan bilang-bilang orang ya, tapi kita selalu punya pembenaran yang bisa bikin orang percaya kok)..

makanya orang Indonesia pinter-pinter kan? bisa menjadi negara yang melesat padahal ngga punya landasan .. Siapa sih yang bisa jadi PuteriIndonesia?.. Itu loh yang bisa bilang negara Indonesia memiliki keanekaragaman budaya! pinter banget kan dia jawab kaya gitu? dia berpikir keras bahwa cuma Indonesia yang punya keanekaragaman budaya.. negara lain emang ada?

eh .. atau si Puteri belum pernah ke baca buku? dia hobby dandan sih! atau si Puteri belum pernah ke keluar negeri ya? nah makanya dia disebut Puteri Indonesia yang Indonesia banget!

nb. : Tulisan ini diambil dari Blog seorang vokalis punk band dari Bandung -Glory Of Love- bernama 'HerZzzz'... You go, dood!!!

...The Rebirth Of My Blog...

2006-06-13T14:26:00.000+07:00

Uhhh... 22 Mei ke 13 Juni... Kalo diitung-itung da lama banget ya... aku off gak nulis blog lagi... :-p . Bukan kenapa-kenapa sehh... Cuman ada satu hal yang bikin aku gak punya mood untuk nulis blog lagi. Hal itu pula yang bisa bikin aku ngerasa bebas... Tenang... Seneng trus... Gak punya beban... Uhhhh... Uaaseekkk dehh pokoknya...

Tau gak 'hal' itu apa...?

'Hal' itu adalah...

AKU DAH GAK PERLU SUSAH-SUSAH SEKOLAH DI SMA LAGEEE!!!

Hehehhehh... :-p

Ih... Basi banget ya? Eh, tapi ini bener lho... Selama ini aku tu orangnya suka stres sendiri. Mana di skola pelajaran2nya biji... Guru-gurunya kacrut... Blom lagi harus ngadepin temen2 yang beragam modelnya... Itu semua bikin aku ngerasa sumpek... Naaaaa... Pelariannya akhirnya ke Blog d... :-) Di blog itu pula aku bisa numpahin semua perasaanku. Mulai dari soal cewe, soal pemikiran2 'aneh' ku tentang salah satu agama, bahkan mencaci maki guruku sendiri!! Hehehehhh... Makanya... Kalo ada yang bilang nulis blog itu gak enaklah, basi lah... SEMUA ITU SALAH, BRO!!! :-p

Yappp... Itu dulu. Sekarang aku sudah gak punya tanggungan ataupun beban apa2 lagi mengenai sekolah. Dan sekarang aku bisa bebas sebebas-bebasnya... Nahhh... Efeknya sekarang ke blog ini... Aku sekarang jadi males banget nulis blog. Abis setiap hari slalu adaaa... aja yang bisa aku kerjain. Buntutnya ya gt d... Blog ini jadi g keurus... Buat pembaca setia blog ini, (dooo... Emang ada geto? :-p), kali ini aku janji d... Blog bakal aku update setiap 2 hari sekali! Setiap hari kalo perlu! Biar kamu semua bisa ngerasain gimana kehidupan seorang 'Loser'... Hahahahhh... :-p

Eitttt... Mungkin kamu semua pada bertanya-tanya, apa alasan saya untk mulai semangat lagi nulis blog ini... Alasannya tiada lain dan tiada bukan adalah...

tereerereereeeeeeeeeeeeettttt.... (suara terompet kerajaan... :-p)

Akhirnya....

Ada juga yang mau mengakui tulisan2 saya. For real. :-)

Ih, aku gak nyangka lho... Ada orang yang bisa dapet inspirasi baru di hidupnya dengan membaca blog ini... Mungkin tulisan ini agak hiperbola y... Tapi paling enggak itulah yang bisa saya rasakan ketika saya sms-an ma dia... :-p Hihihihihihhhh...

Buat yang ngerasa, aku ucapin makasiiiiiiiiiiiihhhh yang sedalam-dalamnya... Dari lubuk jiwa saya!! Hehehehhh... :-p

O iya, maap ya... Aku belum sempet bikin tulisan mengenai My Chemical Romance. Laen kali pasti d! Oceee... :-)

Skali lagi makasih y.... :-)

ps. : kalo ngasih komen jangan pake nick anonymous dunk... Dikasih nama aja... Ya? :-) Btw, makasih dah komen... (Setelah sekian lama ini... :-p)

...Going Away To College...

2006-06-13T14:06:00.000+07:00

Please take me by the hand

It's so cold out tonight

I'll put blankets on the bed

I won't turn out the light

Just don't forget to think about me

And I won't forget you

I'll write you once a week she said

Why does it feel the same

To fall in love or break it off

And if young love is just a game

Then I must have missed the kick off

Don't depend on me to ever follow through on anything

But I'd go through hell for you and

[Chorus:]

I haven't been this scared in a long time

And I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine

Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody

This world's and ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me

I'll think about the times

She kissed me after class

And she put up with my friends

I acted like an ass

I'd ditch my lecture to watch the girls play soccer

Is my picture still hanging in her locker?

[Chorus x2]

ps. Yeaa.. Dude... I'm going away to college. Now just 1 simple question left in my head... "Is my picture still hangin' in her heart?"... Haha... Retoric question needs no answer. Wish that she read this... :-p

...ANNOUNCEMENT...

2006-05-22T11:05:00.000+07:00

Yahhh... Jadi atas saran seorang teman maka dengan bangga saya umumkan...

Anonymous-Comment sudah bisa digunakan lagi!

Hehehhhe.. :-p

Tapi tuooloong ya... Paling g ngasih namalah... Jangan anonymous... G enak tau, yg ngliatnya... :-p Oke...

Who Am I? I'm Capricornians!

2006-05-20T13:12:00.000+07:00

Karakter CapricornTradisional

Practikal dan hati-hati

Ambisius dan disiplin

Sabar dan hati-hati

Humoris

Di sisi lain...

Pessimistik

Komplain

Capricorn! Tentang bintang kamu...
Capricorn adalah salah satu tipe zodiac yang stabil dan paling serius. Karakter mandiri ini memiliki beberapa kualitas murni. Biasanya mereka percaya diri, kemauan tinggi dan tenang. Pekerja keras, tidak emosional, praktikal, bertanggung jawab, dan berhati-hati terhadap orang tertentu, memiliki kemampuan yang ulet selama itu diperlukan untuk mencapai tujuan yang sudah ditentukan sebelumnya. Mereka pekerja yang dapat diharapkan bahkan menjadi â€˜tulang punggungâ€™ perusahaan di setiap profesi yang diambil.

Capricornians menjadikan diri mereka sendiri berbobot, manajer yang punya tujuan; menentukan standar yang tinggi bagi dirinya dan orang lain. Mereka berjuang untuk jujur mengkritisi diri sendiri, sangat menghormati kedisipilinan. Dengan karakternya yang keras, mereka mengutamakan dirinya diatas segala hal selama itu dapat memenuhi kebutuhan dirinya atau target yang sudah ditentukan. Pada kenyataannya ketika kemampuan praktikal dan ambisi diperlukan dari seorang pekerja untuk mensukseskan sebuah pekerjaan, Carpicronians adalah orang yang tepat. Mereka merencanakan dengan hati-hati ambisinya (yang biasanya mendatangkan kekayaan), dan mampu meraih hasil dengan usaha dan biaya yang sedikit. Karena kemampuan mengatur yang dimilikinya memungkinkan Capricornian bekerja dalam berbagai projek secara bersamaan.

Disisi lain, Capricornian memiliki kecenderungan menjadi pesimistis, melankolis dan bahkan tidak bahagia. Karakter ini dapat membuat mereka menjadi sangat individu yang tertekan. Untuk mengatasi masalah ini, Capricorn perlu menghabiskan waktu dengan bermeditasi, mengumpulkan kekuatan untuk mengontrol emosi yang ada dalam dirinya.

Gairah yang berubah bukan satu2nya alasan yang menjadikan Capricornians mendapatkan namanya (capricious â€“ mudah berubah). Mereka bisa secara mengejutkan dan tiba-tiba berubah dan merusak kondisi tertentu dengan melakukan hal atau keputusan yang tidak terduga.

Intelegensi mereka juga sangat tinggi, berpikir dengan mantap dan dalam, secara menyeluruh melihat semua kemungkinan sebelum mengambil keputusan tertentu. Mereka memiliki ingatan yang baik, rasional, logical, memiliki konsentrasi tinggi dan dalam berdebat mampu menguasai keadaan dengan kepandaian yang dimiliki dengan menebarkan â€˜jebakanâ€™ beserta dengan alasannya.

Pekerjaan yang cocok biasanya yang berhubungan dengan perhitungan atau uang dan sangat tertarik dengan musik. Mereka dapat menjadi ekonomis, financiers, bankers, speculator, kontraktor, manager dan real estate broker. Mereka luar biasa dalam birokrasi, terutama pada saat projek yang membutuhkan perencanaan jangka panjang, kemampuan mereka dalam berdebat membuat mereka menjadi politisi yang handal. Mereka juga dapat menjadi guru, ilmuwan, engineers dan juga penghibur/entertainer sebagai karir alternative.

The Rose Song

2006-05-19T21:58:00.000+07:00

Roses are red, violets are blue
Whenever I sad, I always think of you
Roses are red, violets are blue
Though we're break, I'll never forget you

Sometimes I thought my life was a nightmare
It was never changed and still be the same
I drunk one beer or two
just to knew if I were still worth enough
to be fought on and on...

Sometimes I thought I was alone in this world
Night by night I struggle by crawlin'
Cryin', disbelievin'
Just to knew if I were still worth enough
to be fought on and on...

But you were there for me
So I can stand on my own feet

Roses are red, violets are blue
Whenever I sad, I always think of you
Roses are red, violets are blue
Though we're break, I'll never forget you

Roses are red, violets are blue
Whenever I sad, I always think of you
Roses are red, violets are blue
Though we're break, I'll never forget you

ps. Yeaaa... Another kewl composition made by me!!! :-p dedicated to all of my friends who supported me great enough and taught me how to learn something. :-)

...My Friends Over You...

2006-04-28T11:31:00.000+07:00

I’m drunk off your kiss
For another night in a row
This is becoming too routine for me
But I did not mean to lead you on

And it’s all right to pretend
That we still talk
It’s just for show, isn’t it
It’s my fault that it fell apart

Just maybe you need this
And I didn’t mean to lead you on

You were everything I wanted
But I just can't finish what I've started
There’s no room left here on my back
It was damaged long ago
Though you swear that you are true
I still pick my friends over you
(My friends over you)

Please tell me everything,
That you think that I should know
About all the plans you made
When I was nowhere to be found

And it’s all right to forget
That we still talk
Its just for fun, isn’t it
It’s my fault that it fell apart

Cuz maybe you need this
And I didn’t mean to
Lead you on

You were everything I wanted
But I just can't finish what I've started
There’s no room left here on my back
It was damaged long ago
Though you swear that you are true
I still pick my friends over you
(My friends over you)

Just maybe you need this
You need this…
And I didn’t mean to
Lead you on

You were everything I wanted
But I just can't finish what I've started
There’s no room left here on my back
It was damaged long ago
Though you swear that you are true
I still pick my friends over you

It Hurts

2006-04-22T12:57:00.000+07:00

It hurts... [x17]

Is this what you want'
Cause everybody acts without a clue
Every little kiss and grin you gave
Was just a little bullshit I saw through

The alcohol I scented with your breath
You're always open up to just be used
I'm waiting for excuses that deceive
I'll meet you in the back to see them through

How did I let her inside
We're dripping of sweat, and feeling alright
Her lips were the last thing touched tonight
Your best friend is not your girlfriend

It hurts... [x17]

Are you out of your mind
You dug yourself into a liar’s hole
You made a little spark to live inside
It’s now a fucking fire out of control

When the morning comes you’ll act surprised
And when the word gets out it will get old
And ever day you’ll try to live your life
In every little scam that will unfold

How did I let her inside
We're dripping of sweat, and feeling alright
Her lips were the last thing touched tonight
Your best friend is not your girlfriend

Dream... you want it
Dream... I want it too
Dream... you want it
Dream... I want it too

How did I let her inside
We're dripping of sweat, and feeling alright
Her lips were the last thing touched tonight
Your best friend is not your girlfriend

It hurts [x17]
(Your best friend is not your girlfriend)
It hurts
(Your best friend is not your girlfriend)
It hurts
(Your best friend is not your girlfriend)
It hurts
(Your best friend is not your girlfriend)
It hurts
(Your best friend is not your girlfriend)
It hurts
(Your best friend is not your girlfriend)

ps. Angel's And Airwaves's kewlest song!!! So damn touching... Remember, kid, YOUR BEST FRIEND IS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!! :-)

2006-04-22T12:30:00.000+07:00

WAWWW... BENER-BENER MINGGU YANG AMAT SANGAT KACAWW... :-p

1. Kemaren ditubruk sama bapak2 g tau diri d Jalan Soekarno - Hatta... Mana g minta maap lagi... SHIT...

2. Pas kapan hari ad gw dengan bangganya mengumumkan kalo dia ngrokok... Ya gpp c... Itung2 belajar. Tapi awas aja kalo dia mulai macem2 (ex: kissing, necking, petting... INTERCOURSING!!!)... Gw sikat sendiri... :-p

3. Abis baca biografinya Kurt Cobain (Heavier Than Heaven) dan belajar satu hal... SAYA BUKANLAH SATU-SATUNYA ORANG DI DUNIA INI YANG MENGALAMI DEPRESI DAN KEPRIBADIAN YANG 'SAKIT'... I wish someday I wanna die by OD-ing and I SWEAR I'LL NOT DEAD AS AN UNKNOWN... Yeah, I'LL BE SOMEONE!!! :-p

4. TaGiHAn TelEpoN YaNG AmAt SAngaT BAnYaaKK... SHITTTT... G jajan selama 3 bulan lagi d... :-p

5. Dikasih kondom sama bencong2 pas liat mereka volley... Itu adalah kondom pertama yang pernah saya liat (dan tentu saja pake... :-p). Lumayanlah buat pengetahuan... :-p Huwhuwhuwhh... Mereknya Artika... Liat d di photo profile saya... :-p

6. -FINALLY!! Dapet lagunya Yellowcard (Ocean Avenue) satu album full!!!
-FINALLY!! Dapet lagunya Angels And Airwaves(We Don't Need To Whisper) satu album full!!! (SUMPAH, NI BAND KEREN ABIS!!! Ada Tom DeLonge di Gitar n vokal!!!
-FINALLY (juga)!! Dapet lagunya Saves The Day (lupa judulnya) satu album full!!
... (bener2 kalimat yang tidak efektif)... :-p

7. Mau ujian sekolah tapi sama sekali g belajar malah coli di kamar... Hehehehhh... :-p

8. O y, AKHIRNYA....

!!!FRIENDSTER-NYA DEMPO KETAUAN JUGA!!!

dan berhubung saya yang ngasih testimonial paling kacaw dan photo saya terpampang jelas disana, sayalah yang dituduh... Bayangin aja, Pak Windi, Pak Sigit, bahkan Romo Albert pada blingsatan sendiri dan sewot sama saya... Katanya saya bakal dilaporin ke polisi-lah, di-DO lah... AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sekarang saya cuma bisa bilang : DUDU AKU SENG NGGAWE ACCOUNT IKU, COK!!! MATAMU DEKEK NDI??? SELET A??? ASU... :-p

9. Saya akhirnya menguasai melody-nya Knockin' On Heaven's Door - GnR... (Inget, teman, saya tidak bosan-bosannya bilang ke seluruh dunia tentang hal ini... Hehehhh...)

10. FINALLY!!! I CAN FORGET HER!!! Huwhuhuhwhh... :-p SO DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF... Thx to sum1 who support me...

ps. O y, bagi anda yang mau kasih comment sekarang dah g bisa lagi pake nick 'anonymous'... Makanya, kasih nama aja apa susahnya c?? :-p

...Miles Apart...

2006-04-22T11:55:00.000+07:00

If I could I would do all of this again

Travel back in time with you to where this all began

We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind

And make believe there's something left to find

We'll be miles apart

I'll keep you deep inside

You're always in my heart

A new life to start

I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

Now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away

Nothing I can do about it, nothing I can say

To bring us back to where we were when life was not this hard (life was not this hard)

Looking back it all just seems so far, so far away

We'll be miles apart

I'll keep you deep inside

You're always in my heart

A new life to start

I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

I'd give it up for just one more day with you

Give it up for just one more day

I'd give it up for just one more day with you

Give it up for just one more day

I'd give it up for just one more day with you

Give it up, give it all away

I'd give it up for just one more day with you

We'll be miles apart

I'll keep you deep inside

You're always in my heart

A new life to startI may be leaving but you're always in my heart

I need you now, we're miles apart

I'll keep you deep inside

You're always in my heart

I need you now, we're miles apart

I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

ps. To someone who had been closely 'related' to me (yeah, you know who u are... :-)

Famous

2006-04-22T11:28:00.000+07:00

I am a fuckin' retards
Never take anyone's opinions but,
There's somethin' inside of me
that make you free

One more day before I go
I take another beer and
somehow I feel like no one
no one that doesn't even care at all

[chorus]
I will be famous someday
I'm gonna kickin' ass today
Take this guitar everyday
Cuz I will be famous someday

Yes, I am pervert guy
Never get bored or shy
showin' my dick to everyone
I'm an asshole sometimes

Bad lucks at chicks,
swearin' one or two,
I never get bored, cuz..

[chorus]

ps. I made this kewl lyrics... Still workin' on the melodic part, though... :-p

...This Is Why I Hate Moslems...

2006-04-11T14:34:00.000+07:00

ADA APA DENGAN DEWA 19 DAN YAHUDI ??

(source : dari milis tetangga, menarik buat sekedar info)

Mengapa dalam album-album grup musik Dewa19 banyak simbol aneh??

Apakah benar Ahmad Dhani keturunan Yahudi??

Apa yang sebenarnya terkandung dalam lirik2 lagu Dewa 19??

Sebenarnya saya (penulis) tidak terlalu ambil pusing dengan pertanyaan2 diatas, tetapi setelah mencermati buku berjudul"Fakta & Data Yahudi diIndonesia" karangan Ridwan Saidi & Rizki Ridyasmara (Februari 2006) dan buku "Talmud, kitab hitam Yahudi yang menggemparkan" karangan M.A Syarkawi (cetakan edisi Indonesia, 2005). Saya merasa mempunyai beban moral untuk menyebarluaskan informasi ini kepada publik, karena melihat sepertinya hanya kalangan tertentu di Indonesia yang paham tentang bahaya Yahudi. Dengan tulisan ini, saya berharap lebih banyak pihak yang concern.

Sebelum membahas tentang group musik Dewa, saya akan memberikan kutipan yang saya ambil dari buku (Talmud??) diatas:

1. Bangsa Lain Selain Yahudi adalah Bagaikan Binatang.
>>> Dalam kitab Talmud Yerusalem halaman 94 disebutkan: "Air mani yang darinya tercipta bangsa-bangsa lain yang berada diluar agama Yahudi adalah air mani kuda".
>>>Dalam Midrash Talpioth (Vol 225d) dijelaskan bahwa kaum non-Yahudi adalah hanya berbeda bentuk dengan binatang.
>>>Dalam kitab Zohar (I,131a) mengatakan: sejak adanya mereka, maka dari itu, semua manusia non-Yahudi mengotori alam, karena roh mereka lahir dari bagian yang najis.
>>>Sanhendrin (74b) Tosepoth berbunyi: Hubungan seksual orang Goim (orang non-Yahudi) adalah seperti hubungan seksual binatang.
>>>Talmud, Kitab 6 Bab 8 butir ke 9: Sesungguhnya Talmud mewajibkan atas setiap orang Yahudi untuk melaknat orang Kristen tiga kali dalam sehari, dan berdoa agar membasmi dan menghancurkan raja-raja serta para pemimpin mereka. Juga diwajibkan kepada orang Yahudi untuk merampas harta mereka dengan cara apapun.

2) Bangsa Yahudi mempunyai rencana besar untuk menguasai seluruh umat manusia dimuka bumi, kemudian membuat mereka bertindak secara sadar atau tidak sadar menjadi pelayan Yahudi yang derajatnya dianggap sama dengan binatang.

3) Banyak strategi yang dilancarkan oleh kaumYahudi yang berkedok kemanusiaan, dialog lintas agama, Hak Asasi Manusia, beasiswa, penyebarluasan simbol Yahudi dll, yang semuanya merupakan taktik belaka untuk meraih tujuan akhir mereka. Strategi penyebarluasan simbol Yahudi dimasyarakat kita ternyata sudah dalam tahap yang memprihatinkan. Simbol Yahudi tanpa sadar telah digunakan pada aksesoris, kaos, kover kaset dll.

Kita sudah mengetahui bahwa sebuah simbol/gambar bisa berarti lebih dari seribu kata kata. Ternyata, salah satu grup musik papan atas di Indonesia yaitu DEWA telah secara konsisten menyebarkan simbol Yahudi dari mulai album pertama mereka: DEWA 19 (1992), TERBAIK-TERBAIK (1995), THE BESTOF DEWA 19 (1999), BINTANG LIMA (2000), CINTAILAH CINTA (2002), ATAS NAMA CINTA I & II ( 2004), danLASKAR CINTA (2004). Simbol Yahudi dengan cerdik diletakkan dengan berbagai cara dan hanya bisa dilihat dengan cara-cara tertentu. Ada yang dibuat terbalik, disamarkan, diputar dan hanya bisa dibaca didepan cermin.

Sebelum membahas lebih jauh tentang simbol, kita perlu ketahui siapa sebenarnya Ahmad Dhani Manaf, sang komadan grup musik ini.

Dalam album Laskar Cinta, Dhani menulis sebagai berikut :DHANI THANKS TO : ..., JAN PIETER FREDERICH KOHLER (THANKS FOR THE GEN)..., Siapakah JAN PIETER FREDERICH KOHLER?? Merunut silsilah keluarga, pemilik nama tersebut ternyata ayah dari ibu kandung Ahmad Dhani, alias kakeknya. Ibunya sendiri bernama Joyce Theresia Pamela Kohler. Jan Pieter Frederich Kohler adalah orang Yahudi Jerman. Secara jujur Dhani berterima kasih atas gen Yahudi yang ia terima dari sang kakek. (THANKS FOR THE GEN). Bisa jadi karena kebanggaannya mewarisi gen dari opanya.

A. SIMBOL-SIMBOL YAHUDI YANG BANYAK TERDAPAT PADA ALBUM DEWA

1) Dhani sering tampil dipanggung dengan memakai kalung Bintang David (simbol Zionis-Israel).

2) Pada cover album pertama DEWA 19, terdapat gambar piramida tak sempurna(Unfinished Pyramid). Piramida tersebut terpancung dibagian ujungnya. Lambang tersebut sudah dikenal luas sebagai salah satu lambang Yahudi (lambang gerakan Masonis - salah satu organisasi Yahudi, dan juga lambang tsb pada uang 1 dollar Amerika). Dan untuk diingat, dalam mitologi Judaisme, angka "19" dikenal sebagai "Dark Star" (Bintang Kegelapan). Jika dicermati dengan seksama, cobalah untuk memperbesar gambar puncak pyramid yang ditutupi kabut (misalnya dengan program Windows Picture & FaxViewer, puncak piramid itu di zoom-in (+) beberapakali), maka terlihat dipuncak piramid itu, walau agak samar, ada sesuatu yang tidak lancip, malah berwarna gelap yang cenderung berbentuk bulat yangbisa jadi merupakan bola, lingkaran, atau juga bisa sebuah mata.

3) Dalam album "TERBAIK TERBAIK". Pertama, secara jelas dimuat simbol Dewa Ra (Dewa matahari dalam mitologi Mesir Kuno). Dalam agama Yahudi (Judaisme) Dewa Ra diklaim sebagai salah satu Tuhan mereka. Pada Sinagog (rumah ibadah Yahudi) lambang ini lazim di pajang. Kedua, terdapat pula lembaran satu Protocol Of Zions (Ayat-ayat Iblis) dalam bahasa Ibrani. Untuk menyamarkan, Protocol of Zions dalam cover album ini diletakkan secara terbalik horizontal. Yang sisi kiri dipindah kekanan dan sebaliknya. Untuk membacanya hadapkan dulu kedepan cermin. Ketiga, terdapat foto empat personil Dewa tengah berdiri dibawah gambar lingkaran dengan satu titik di tengahnya (Circle with a dot), gambar ini dikenal sebagai simbol occultism/organ perempuan yang merupakan gerakan pemuja setan dan dianggap juga sebagai penjelmaan simbol mata setan(TheEvil Eye).
Berikut ini cuplikan dari Bulletin Masonis (organisasi Yahudi):
Since the Satanist worships the Sex Act, he musthave a symbol of thefemale organ, to go along with male organ- theObelisk. And , indeed,Satanist do have a symbol of the female organ ?the Circle. And, when apoint is added to the middle of the circle, youhave the complete sex act,the male being the point and the female being thecircle (Point With ACircle" Masonic Short Talk Bulletin, August, 1931,Vol.9,No.8, ReprintedJuly,1990, p.4).
Bagi anda pengguna Macromedia Fotographer4.11/9/99. Anda bisa lihat Occult Symbol yang berpola huruf Ibrani, terdapat "circle with a dot"

4) Dalam cover Album THE BEST OF DEWA 19(1999). Pertama, secara kasat mata ada dua lambang yang dimuat: adalah tulisan tangan italic yang ditumpuk jadi satu sehingga membentuk garis lurus. Satu garis horizontal, satunya lagi vertical, dan saling bersilangan seperti salib miring. Cover berbentuk horizontal ini baru memiliki arti jika diberdirikan atau diputar 90 derajat kearah kiri (lihat tanda panah biru di sudut kanan bawah cover tsb, itu bukan sekedar gambar panah tapi suatu instruksi) agar 'pesan'-nya sampai. Dikepala salib terdapat gambar personil Dewa yang jika dicermati membentuk sebuah bulatan. Ini sama dengan symbol okultisme yang terdapat dalam lambang Dewa Horus. Kedua, juga dicover depan. Di sudut kiri bawah ada gambar kepala seorang gadis dengan rambut panjang terurai, dikepala si gadis seolah ada pusaran air. Jika diperbesar maka akan terlihat bahwa"pusaran air" dan rambut si gadis itu sesungguhnya adalah mata dari DewaHorus. Ketiga, dipermukaan cakram digital (CD) juga berisi symbol okultisme DewaHorus (juga ada tanda panahnya). Keempat, dicover yang berisi lirik lagupun, jika dirotasi 90 derajat akan terlihat simbol yang sama. Garis putih yang ada diatasnya hanya sebagai'pengelabuan', namun intinya adalah garis saling menyilang seperti salib dengan lingkaran di bagian atasnya

5) Dalam cover Album BINTANG LIMA (2000), gambar sayap dengan hati ditengah dimuat utuh dengan latar belakang empat personil Dewa. Simbol ini lazim dipakai sebagai salah satu simbol gerakan perkumpulan Teosofi Yahudi. Ritual pengikut Teosofi biasanya mengadakan upacara pemanggilan arwah atau jin.

6) Dalam cover Album CINTAILAH CINTA (2002), Pertama, Cover depan album ini memuat secara menyolok simbol Eye of Horus. Horus adalah Dewa Burung dalam Mitologi Mesir Kuno yang diklaim sebagai salah satu dewa mereka. Kedua, Di cover dalam juga ada simbol yang sekilas mirip mata, yang merupakan contekan habis salah satu simbol yang terdapat dalam buku The Secrect Language of Symbol yang disarikan dari kitab Yahudi, Taurat. Simbol ini biasa disebut Femina Geni Vegia atau kelamin perempuan. Ketiga, Dibagian lain juga ada gambar mata setan. Keempat, di piringan disc-nya jika dicermati bergambar kepala burung dengan simbol mata Horus. Yang merupakan salah satu simbol dari gerakan freemasonry.

7) Dalam cover Album CINTAILAH CINTA I & II(2004), lambang sayap yang merupakan lambang resmi Dewa dimuat dalam album live ini dengan latar belakang hitam kelam. Seperti hal nya Album Bintang Lima (2000), album ini juga mengunakan sayap simbol Teosofi dengan makna yang sama.

8) Album LASKAR CINTA (2004), inilah album ketujuh Dewa yang akhirnya menjadi "batu sandungan" dan membuka selubung semua album-album Dewa sebelumnya yang sarat dengan kampanye simbol dan lambang Yahudi. Tipologi huruf "Laskar Cinta" yang dibalik, ternyata diambil dari hurufIbrani (huruf yang digunakan dalam Kitab Yahudi).
Gambar siluet wajah Ahmad Dhani pakai peci dengan tulisan berpola Arabic bertuliskan "Ahmad". Benarkah bertuliskanAhmad?? Mengapa huruf alif-nya ada cabang? Padahal alif itu lurus tidak bercabang. Jelas bukan suatu kekhilafan. Jika gambar itu dibalik 180 derajat, tulisan Arabic yang semula seakan berbunyi "Ahmad" menjadi huruf Arabic yangter diri dari konsonan semua dengan huruf : YHWH, alias "YaHWeh, alias Tuhan Tertinggi Yahudi. Believe it or Not??

B. LIRIK LAGU DEWA YANG BERMASALAH

Pertama, Lirik lagu "Sweetest Place" adalah sebuah lirik penantian akan ratu adil, penantian akan datangnya sesuatu, yang bisa membuat kehidupan menjadi menyenangkan. Dan yang dinanti adalah: MATA (I am welcoming an eye/ Into the darkest one/ It tells me not to worry) Ratu adil itu adalah MATA. Menurut teologi Yahudi (Kabbala), The eye atau Mata merupakan mata Lucifer, Sang Pangeran Penguasa Kegealapan sekaligus SangPenguasa alam raya.

Kedua, Dalam Album Laskar Cinta , ada sebuah lagu berjudul "SATU". Syairnya bagaikan kerinduan yang teramat sangat seorang kekasih kepada pujaan hatinya. Benarkah ?? Ternyata TIDAK. Syair lagutersebut merupakan manifestasi dari paham sesat "Wihdatul Wujud" (bersatunya mahluk dengan pencipta). Dibawah syair lagu tersebut pada versi kaset terdapat ucapan terima kasih kepada Al Hallaz. Adapun pada versi CD nya terdapat ucapan terima kasih kepada Syekh Lemah Abang. Keduanya adalah ulama sesat penganut Wihdatul Wujud. Siapapun yang pernah membaca sejarah Walisanga pasti tahu bahwa Syekh Lemah Abang adalah nama lain dari Syekh Siti Jenar. JikaSyekh Siti Jenar diperintahkan untuk dipenggal kepalanya olehWalisanga, bagaimana denganDewa??? Tentu tidak demikian..

TAHUKAH ANDA? Kebencian Yahudi terhadap semua bangsa selainnya membuat mereka menganggap bangsa-bangsa lain itu tidak pantas menyandang gelar "manusia". Prioritas utama kebencian orang Yahudi adalah orang Kristen karenanya adanya dendam kesumat antara keduanya yang bersumber dari dasar-dasar kedua agama tersebut. Namun jika mereka kesulitan mendapatkan darah orang Kristen(untuk ritual mereka), maka darah orang Islam pun bisa dijadikan gantinya. Orang Yahudi biasa mengajari anak mereka sedari kecil untuk mengucapkan cacian jika melewati gereja, yaitu: "sakis nadanisid bayadan nadi binikhi sharabrim ila yim" artinya: "jadilah ini daerah haram tempat kotor untuk dua kotoran, dan tempat keji bagi orang-orang keji dan najis".

PENUTUP
Tulisan diatas bukan dibuat atas dasar kebencian atau kedengkian atau bermaksud mengadu domba. Melainkan atas dasar fakta.

---

Ummhh... Ini saya dapet dari bull board n inilah mengapa saya benci sama Islam... Mereka selalu mengadu domba kalangan Kristen - Yahudi.

Saya akan coba membahas artikel ini satu persatu.

1. Tampaknya penulis dari artikel ini mengalami kebingungan dalam membedakan antara agama Yahudi, Okultisme, Freemasonry, atau Judaisme. Hal ini bisa dilihat dari gaya penulisan artikel yang semrawut dan mencampuradukkan berbagai macam paham.

>>>Talmud, Kitab 6 Bab 8 butir ke 9: Sesungguhnya Talmud mewajibkan
atas setiap orang Yahudi untuk melaknat orang Kristen tiga kali dalam sehari,
dan berdoa agar membasmi dan menghancurkan raja-raja serta para pemimpin mereka.
Juga diwajibkan kepada orang Yahudi untuk merampas harta mereka dengan cara
apapun.

??? Wawww... Dari sini saja bisa kelihatan kalau penulisnya adalah orang GOBLOG n ga mengerti sejarah. Dah de, gampangannya gini, Yahudi sama Kristen itu munculnya duluan Yahudi (baca sejarah aja de buat selengkapnya :-p), dan tentu saja Talmud yang digunakan itu sudah ada terlebih dahulu dibandingkan meluasnya agama Kristen. Nah, ini koq lucu, ada buku yang mewajibkan pengikutnya untuk melaknat agama yang sama sekali belum ada di masanya tersebut??? Lucu... :-p

Pada cover album pertama DEWA 19, terdapat gambar piramida tak
sempurna(Unfinished Pyramid). Piramida tersebut terpancung dibagian ujungnya.
Lambang tersebut sudah dikenal luas sebagai salah satu lambang Yahudi (lambang
gerakan Masonis - salah satu organisasi Yahudi, dan juga lambang tsb pada
uang 1 dollar Amerika). ...

MASONIS ITU BUKAN ORGANISASI DARI YAHUDI, GOBLOGGG!!! Cari aja d internet kalo g percaya... Masonis tu ga ada sangkut-pautnya sama agama Yahudi. :-p

... (To be continued, bentar lagi internet-nya ampir abis... :-p)

2006-04-02T17:17:00.000+07:00

Ummmhh... Lagi nungguin konsernya Trisum nehh...

Nganggur-nganggur...

Akhirnya larinya ke warnet c...

Yang jelas...

NDASKU MUMET IKI, COK!!!

Kemaren abis minum arak Cina-nya bokap... :-p

Wadohhh...

Kerasss...

Kerasss....

Katanya c kadar alkoholnya hampir mencapai 70%...

Huhuhuhh... :-p

sekian untuk sekarang... :-p

...@#!*%##@$...

2006-03-30T17:59:00.000+07:00

WOEEYYY...

WARNET SIALLL...

KENAPA BACKSOUND NYA LAGU I'LL STAND BY YOU C...????!!!!!

SIALLLLLLLL...................................

...Garasi...Newport...What Else?... :-p

2006-03-30T17:30:00.000+07:00

Uuugghhh... Hari ini badanku capek bgt, soalnya kemarin abis liat Garasi di UMM Dome, aku 'pesta' sendirian dikamar. :-p Dengan berbekal uang 500 perak x15, aku langsung cabut ke warung depan. Maunya c beli yang 'biasa-biasa' aja lahh... Tapi dasar emang lagi gak hoki. Warung depan yang punya stok TM buanyakk itu tiba-tiba bisa kehabisan.. Ya udah, terpaksa aku beli Newport.

Aku sebenernya rada-rada ngeri juga c beli tu minuman... Sebab rumornya efek tu minuman bener-bener ngeri banget. Pagi-pagi habis kamu minum, dijamin mencret2 en boker2 ga keruan... Uahhh... :-p Untungnya hal itu tidak terjadi sama saya. Yang ada saya malah tambah seger-buger tu... Ah, emang ngaco aja orang-orang. :-p

Tapi harus aku akuin, Newport bener-bener gak ada rasanya! Kayak minum air putih. Newport mah menang rasa doang (ada rasa2 mint-nya gitu d...). Tomi Stanley, meskipun minuman kampung... Tapi lebih sepp dah. Tapi berhubung ga ada pilihan lain, ya, terpaksa d... :-p

O ya, aku emang rada-rada stress kemarin. Gak tau, tiba-tiba mood ku lagi gak enak kemarin. Di skul palingan cuma tidur en nggambar-nggambar di binder. Dah gitu di les tutornya hutek abis lagi... Sial! :-p Harapanku pas itu cuma satu: GO TO GIGS!!! Untungnya pas itu (scr gak sengaja) aku liat ada iklan Garasi mo maen di Malang, dan ada temen yang (dengan rela hati) mau ikutan. Yah, harus berkorban beliin dia tiket juga c... :-p Akhirnya aku cabut juga...

Tapi begitu sampe disana, Ya Olohh... SUMPAH, JELEK BANGET!!! Band-band pembukanya pada kacrut semua. Pada nyampah!! Ada yang maenin britpop, Top 40, trus ada satu band cowo-cowo gitu tapi maenin lagunya Kotak!! Uhhh... Fuck!!! Tapi harus aku akuin, best performance kemaren ada di band CCCC. Dengan kiblat lagu yang mirip-mirip St. Loco + Rage against The Machine, CCCC kemaren sukses ngebakar suasana. Vokalisnya bener2 bisa bikin hidup suasana, apalgi ditambah dengan 'hasutan-hasutan' bertema politik, CCCC bener2 keren abizzz!!!

Trus yang ditunggu-tunggupun tiba... Kita semua pada deg-degan nunggu band utama yang sebentar lagi muncul... Trus lampunya tiba mati...

(Ummhh.. Maaf, kabelnya lagi ruwet, bentar lagi dibenerin...) Kata mbak MC-nya...

***JIANCOKK!!! KESUWEN... TAK TLUSUP TEMPEKMU KENE...*** Kata orang di depanku...

***WOOOEEYYY... KENE MBAYAR NGGAE DUWEK IKI, GAK NGGAE GODHONG...*** Kata orang di sebelahku...

***SUWE-SUWE TAK OBONG NGGON IKI...*** dsb...

Untungnya 'kemeriahan' itu gak berlangsung lama... GARASI tampil juga!!!

Kemarin Garasi lumayan keren juga... Bayangin aja, mereka bisa bikin efek suara Bass, padahal mereka gak punya Bassist! Uhhh... Salut d. Kemaren mereka bawain kurang lebih 6-7 lagu gitu d...

Tapi yang paling konyol tu pas vokalisnya (yang cuantikkk bgt. :-p) bawain lagunya Nirvana. Awalnya dah keren c, mereka loncat-loncat gak karu2an... Trus, pas doi nyanyiin lirik -> 'A mulatto... A Mosquito...'... DIA SALAH NGUCAPIN LIRIKNYA!!! Goblog...! Untungnya mereka bisa menetralisir suasana. (Dan untungnya para penonton juga gak seberapa peduli juga c... ) :-p

Yang jelas ntar tanggal 10 aku mo nonton gig lagi. Katanya ada Burgerkill sama Brigade 07. I'LL GO THERE, DUDE!!! :-p

!!!I'LL WATCH YOU CRASH AND BURN!!!

2006-03-30T16:56:00.000+07:00

One more day before you go

We’ll stay up late for one more show

Grab the keys we’re going out

We’re leaving home and we won’t come back again

We’re friends till the end

We’ll take on the world

We just don’t care at all

I never wanted to believe that you could lie

That friends deceive

And here I stand I’m still the same

I watched you change

You wont come back

[Chorus]

I wonder what it’s like to be like you

(I wonder what it’s like to be like you)

To never really care how bad it hurts

(To never really care how bad it hurts)

So go ahead and lie and keep moving on

It’s all about yourself and you’re never wrong

I’ll watch you crash and burn

The day is gone It’s cold out

I walk alone as you fade out

I don’t know why I’m reaching out

And now I know you wont come back

[Chorus]

Do you remember the days?

Way back when we used to say

Nothing can change us

No one will stop us

I’ll never be like you

I’ll watch you crash and burn

You’re never wrong and you keep moving on[4x]

...Tanggal Lahirmu, Tipe Percintaanmu...

2006-03-30T16:47:00.000+07:00

1 : Kamu tergolong makhluk hangat dan penuh dengan cinta. Kamu pengin dicintai dan jatuh cinta sepanjang hidup.

2 : Kamu ialah anak pendiam, terutama kalo lagi sendirian. Bahkan saat berkumpul dengan orang-orang yang kamu sayangi. Bila menghadapi persoalan dalam cinta dan emosi, sebaiknya kamu mencari nasehat dari orang yang ahli di bidang itu.

3 : Sekalipun kehidupan cintamu semarak, kadang kamu malu-malu juga. Namun, kamu sering bicarain hal ini dengan teman-temanmu.

4 : Kamu benar-benar orang yang bisa menikmati cinta... Dengan siapa saja. (Waduh! Bahaya juga tuh..)

5 : Karakteristikmu berbeda-beda. Ada yang ngebet sama cinta, ada yang tidak mudah dicintai, ada yang suka menyenangkan orang lain, ada yang pencemburu, dan banyak lagi.

6 : Kamu sering bikin aturan sendiri, tapi kadang takut sama orang yang terang-terangan menyatakan cinta kepadamu.

7 : Kamu seorang yang kreatif dan artistik. Kamu sebaiknya perlu dapetin pasangan yang lebih cerdas dari kamu.

8 : Kamu seorang yang punya semangat cinta yan tinggi dan menyukai hal-hal yang bervariasi.

9 : Kamu tergolong makhluk penggoda yang senang berpenampilan seksi, seneng jadi pusat perhatian, dan suka dicintai.

10 : Kamu butuh cinta dari beragam orang. Tapi kalo udah menemukan pasangan. kamu rela ngelakuin apa aja biar kekasihmu itu tetep cinta ama kamu.

11 : Kamu adalah manusia yang suka keteraturan, penyayang binatang, suka mengikuti peraturan, dan seneng melakukan hal-hal yang sempurna.

12 : Kamu makhluk yang sangat penuntut. Suka bercanda dengan lawan jenis, tapi kalo kamu lagi jatuh cinta, biasanya kamu menjadi serius.

13 : Kamu sering memandang cinta dari 'kacamata' yang praktis saja.

14 : Kamu orang yang mudah cemas, dan suka memusingkan hal-hal yang kurang penting.

15 : Kamu termasuk orang yang cepet bosen, tidak suka rutinitas dan seneng pesta.

16 : Gaya cinta kamu sangat sukar dijabarkan, para pacarmu seringkali merasa terluka.

17 : Kamu termasuk dalam kaum agresif. Cinta kamu dijadikan ajang untuk seneng-seneng.

18 : Kamu tipe orang yang seneng sendiri. Kamu sangat tau apa yang paling kamu inginkan.

19 : Kamu membutuhkan kepastian bahwa kamu bakal ngedapetin apa yang namanya cinta.

20 : Kamu orang yang tidak buru-buru komitmen.

21 : Kamu sering kurang beruntung dalam percintaan.

22 : Kamu seorang yang ambisius. Kamu seneng dengan kehidupan cinta yang menggebu-nggebu.

23 : Kamu tipe orang yang betah dengan orang yang membosankan. Kamu melupakan cinta secepat kamu jatuh cinta.

24 : Kamu menginginkan kisah cinta yang romantis.

25 : Kamu tipe orang yang misterius. Kalo kamu cewe biasanya kamu terlambat kawin (hihihi... :-p)

26 : Kehidupan cintamu intensif tapi singkat.

27 : Kamu suka meng-eksploitasi popularitas kamu. Dan kamu seorang yang percaya ama yang namanya cinta abadi.

28 : Kamu demen jadi pusat perhatian dan punya banyak fans. Tapi kamu gak pernah jatuh cinta.

29 : Kadang kamu kejam sama fansmu.

30 : Kamu adalah pasangan ideal yang berupaya keras mempertahankan kebahagiaan kamu dengan pasanganmu.

31 : Kamu tipe orang yang selalu mempertimbangkan segalanya.

nb: Bener... Bener banget!!! :-p

Angele Lek Nglamar Ndek Jawa

2006-03-30T01:09:00.000+07:00

Alkisah di sebuah perusahaan besar di kawasan Keprabon tengah melakukan beberapa tes wawancara untuk " tidak" menerima calon karyawan baru, tentu saja salah satu prasyaratnya adalah harus berbahasa EJD (Ejaan Jawa ygn Daksempurna).

G : Kowe nduwe omah opo ora.....?
a : dereng....
G : Wah kowe ora iso ketompo nang kene
a : Lho kok ngaten........?
G : Mengko kowe mesthi ngajukne utang nang perusahaan.
a : Ah.. mboten kok, Sak janipun tiyang sepuh kulo niku sampun sugih.
G : Yo malah ora ketompo
a : Lho kok ngaten.....?
G : Mengko kowe kerjo mung nggo hiburan, nongkrang nongkrong ae.

G : Kowe nduwe motor opo ora....?
b : Mboten.
G : Ora ketompo
b : Lho kok mboten ketompo ?
G : Mengko kowe mesthi njaluk bantuan kredit.
b : Sak janipun gadhah, ning tasih ten kampung, gampil mangke kulo beto ngriki.
G : Wah malah ra ketompo....
b : lho kok ngoten
G : Tempat parkire wis ra cukup.

G : Kowé wis lulus sarjana tenan.....?
c : sampun pak....
G : Ora ketompo, kéné iki golék sing SMA aé, luwih manutan lan bén mbayaré murah
c : Sak janipun kulo tasih badhe skripsi
G : Malah ora ketompo.....
c : Lho kados pundi to....?
G : Mengko kow é kerjo mung ngetik skripsi, lék wis lulus mesti golék kerjo neng perusahaan liyo.

G : Kowé seneng guyon opo ora ?
d : Mboten pak, kulo serius n ék nyambut gawé.
G: Ra ketompo.....
d : waa......kok ngoten?
G : Engko konco koncomu lan anak buahmu podho stress.
d : Sak jané nggih sekedhik sekedhik seneng guyon.
G : Malah ora ketompo.
d : Lho kok......
G : Engko kowé mung email emailan sing lucu.......

G : Kowé mau mréné numpak opo ?
e : Nitih mobil
G : Kowé ora ketompo
e : Sebabipun ?
G : Saiki BBM mundhak terus, mengko kowé njaluk mundhak bayar terus
e : Wo, kulo wau namung mboncèng, kok
G : Tambah ora ketompo
e : Lho, lha kok ... ?
G : Mengko mung gawéné mboncéng mobil kantor. Ngrusuhi !

G : Anakmu akèh opo sithik ?
f : Kathah pak
G : Kowé ora ketompo
f : Sebabipun ?
G : Nyambut gawemu ora jenjem, mung mikir gawe uanaaaaaak terus
f : Lha wong namung anak adopsi, kok.
G : Tambah ora ketompo
f : Lho, lha kok ... ?
G : Gawé anak baé aras2en, opo manèh nyambut gawé

G : Kowé wis ngerti gawéyanmu durung ?
h : Dèrèng
G : Kowé ora ketompo
h : Sebabipun ?
G : Arep nyambut gaw é kok ora ngerti gaweyané ?
h : Oo, nèk damelan niku mpun ngertos kok
G : Tambah ora ketompo
h : Lho, lha kok ... ?
G : Kowé rak mung arep keminter, to ?

G : Kowe ngerti kahanan kantor k éné durung
k : Dèrèng
G : Kowé ora ketompo
k : Sebabipun ?
G : Arep nyambut gaw é kok ora ngerti kantoré ?
k : Wo, sekedhik2 mpun ngertos kok
G : Tambah ora ketompo
k : Lho, lha kok ... ?
G : Kowé senengané ngudhal-udhal wewadi kantor, to ?

G : Kowé kerep loro ?
m : Mboten
G : Kowé ora ketompo
m : Sebabipun ?
G : Mesthi kerep mbolos, wong arang2 gering
m : Wah, sakjanipun nggih asring
G : Tambah ora ketompo
m : Lho, lha kok ... ?
G : Kantor iki ora nompo karyawan pileren.

G : Kowé biso main Internét ?
n : mBoten
G : Kowé ora ketompo
n : Sebabipun ?
G : Perusahaan ora nompo BI (Buta Internet)
n : Wah, sakjanipun nggih saged
G : Tambah ora ketompo
n : Lho, lha kok ... ?
G : Mesthi ora bakal nyambut gawé, kakèhan dolanan Internet, to? Ngenték-entekké pulsa !

G : Kowe waras opo ora?
o : Lha, kulo nggih waras to Pak.
G : Ra ketompo.......
o : Kenging nopo .....?
G : Mengko kowe mesthi ora krasan neng kene.
o : Niku rumiyin Pak, sakmeniko sampun rodo edan.
G : Malah ra ketompo......
o : Pripun to niki....?
G : Mengko aku duwe saingan.........

Ngerti opo ora? :-p

...Eyesore...

2006-03-26T11:44:00.000+07:00

Forget me not

Those weren’t your words

I’m home haven’t you heard the ring?

The sound of my voiceI know it isn’t much

That’s why I say your name

When I fall, when I hit the bottom

Say your name

When I fall, when I hit the bottom

Girl, play on

The boys will stay even if you’re gone

Go girl, play on

The boys will stay even if you’re gone

I’ve missed you

Those weren’t your words

Seeing you became a charm

And everyday, I wish I could

Everyday...

I say your name

When I fall, when I hit the bottom

Say your name

When I fall, when I hit the bottom

Girl, play on

The boys will stay even if you’re gone

Go girl, play on

The boys will stay even if you’re gone

And I say, say your name

When I fall,

I say, say your name

When I fall, when I hit the bottom

Say your name

When I fall, when I hit the bottom

Girl, play on

The boys will stay even if you’re gone

Go girl, play on

The boys will stay even if you’re gone

ps. Coba dengerin versi akustiknya... Gw jamin lagu ini pasti bisa bikin lo nangis sesenggrukan!!! :-p

!!!Don't Stay!!!

2006-03-26T11:37:00.000+07:00

Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe

Sometimes I need you to stay away from me

Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know

Somehow I need you to go

[Chorus:]

Don’t stay

Forget our memories

Forget our possibilities

What you were changing me into

Just give me myself back and

Don’t stay

Forget our memories

Forget our possibilities

Take all your faithlessness with you

Just give me myself back and

Don’t stay

Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well

Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself

Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know

Somehow I need to be alone

[Chorus]

I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored

I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away

I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored

I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away

With no apologies

[Chorus]

Don't stay

...Hujan Dihatiku...

2006-03-26T11:27:00.000+07:00

Dan hujanpun kembali turun membasahi rumahku
Kulihat dari jendela kamarku disaat mereka tiba
Butiran air yang mengalir menetes denagn derasnya
Menghempas keras diatas tanah, melantunkan irama

Kawanan awan hitam dan gelap yang membentang di sepanjang langit
Bergulung-gulung, menggumpal-gumpal, menambah suram suasana
Kilat dan petir menyambar-nyambar, kilat merobek langit
Gemuruh guntur siap menggelegar membuatku semakin luka

Mengapa ini harus terjadi dan harus jua kuhadapi
Kenyataan pahit yang menimpa diriku harus kutelan kembali
Disini...
Hujan dihatiku...

Dan hujan kembali turun membasahi rumahku
Dan hujanpun jua turun membasahi hatiku...

Mengapa ini harus terjadi dan harus jua kuhadapi
Kenyataan pahit yang menimpa diriku harus kutelan kembali
Mengapa ini harus terjadi dan harus jua kuhadapi
Kenyataan pahit yang menimpa diriku harus kutelan kembali
Disini...
Hujan di hatiku...
Disini...
Hujan di hatiku...

nb: Set, gak nyangka Netral bisa bikin lagu puitis kayak gini!!! So damn 'nusuk' banget!!!

...Not Now... (Again... :-p)

2006-03-25T21:32:00.000+07:00

Come here, please hold my hand Lord now

Help me, I'm scared please show me how

to fight this, God has a master plan

And I guess

I am in his demand

Please save me this time I cannot run

And I'll see you when this is done

And now I have come to realize

That you are the one who's left behind

Please stay until I'm gone

I'm here hold on to me I'm right here

Waiting

I see, a light it feels good

And I'll come back soon just like you would

It's useless, my name has made the list

And I wish, I gave you one last kiss

Please stay until I'm gone

I'm here hold on to me I'm right here

Waiting

And take my one last breath, and don't forget

That I will be right here

Waiting

Ps. Elo tau, ringtone di hp gw untuk elo gak pernah berubah... Hanya elo yang pantes buat dapet lagu ini... :-p

Lubang-Lubang Di Pagar Kayu

2006-03-25T20:46:00.000+07:00

Ada sebuah cerita yang bagus sebagai bahan perenungan kita.

Suatu hari ada anak laki-laki yang sangat-sangat nakal. Dia selalu membuat kerusuhan dimana-mana, entah di sekolah, di rumah atau di lingkungan tempat dia tinggal. Dia selalu membuat masalah sampai-sampai semua orang sakit hati dibuatnya.

Ayahnya yang bijak tentu saja tidak diam saja melihat masalah ini. Dia lalu berkata kepada anaknya.

"Nak, kamu tentu tahu semua hal yang kamu lakukan itu salah. Ayah sayang kamu. Sekarang ayah mempunyai satu permintaan bagi kamu."

"Ya, ayah, aku sadar kalau aku telah membuat engkau sedih. Sekarang apa yang dapat aku lakukan untuk ayah?"

"Setiap kali kamu sedang marah atau tidak enak hati lalu berniat untuk membuat masalah, ambil sebuah paku dari gudang belakang dan pakukan ke pagar kayu di belakang rumah."

"Hanya itu saja, ayah?"

"Ya, hanya itu saja."

Maka anak tersebut mulai untuk mengontrol emosinya. Setiap kali dia sedang marah dan berniat untuk menyakiti orang lain, dia selalu teringat kepada janjinya kepada ayahnya. Dia lantas mengambil paku di gudang belakang dan memakukannya di pagar belakang rumahnya, maka dengan itu kekesalannya dapat terobati.

Pada hari itu ada 412 paku yang telah dia pakukan di pagar belakang rumahnya. Lalu dia menceritakannya kepada ayahnya.

"Ayah, aku telah berhasil menahan emosiku sebanyak 412 kali pada hari ini."

"Itu baik, anakku, lakukanlah terus hingga engkau tidak mempunyai alasan lagi untuk memaku pagar tersebut."

Pada keesokannya harinya dia memakukan 350 paku. Keesokan harinya lagi dia berhasil menguranginya menjadi 122 paku. Begitu seterusnya hingga pada suatu hari dia berhasil untuk tidak memaku pagar tersebut, lalu dia kembali kepada ayahnya.

"Ayah, lihat, kini aku sudah tidak mempunyai lagi alasan untuk memaku pagar tersebut!"

"Ayah bangga padamu, nak, sekarang satu hal lagi yang ingin kamu lakukan untuk ayah. Ayah ingin kamu minta maaf untuk setiap kesalahan yang kamu perbuat kepada orang-orang yang telah kamu sakiti. Saat orang itu memaafkan kamu, cabutlah satu paku di pagar belakang yang telah kamu pakukan itu."

"Baik, ayah."

Maka mulailah, dia meminta maaf kepada setiap orang yang telah dia sakiti. Tanpa dia duga-duga ternyata paku tersebut lebih cepat habis dia cabut daripada yang dia kira. Hanya dalam waktu 1 minggu paku tersebut sudah tidak ada lagi di pagar kayu tersebut. Maka dengan girang dia berlari-lari kepada ayahnya untuk mengabarkan hal itu.

"Ayah, semua orang memaafkan aku! Lihat, sudah tidak ada paku lagi di pagar kayu ini!"

"Anakku, itu adalah perbuatan yang paling baik yang telah kamu lakukan. Tapi sekarang coba lihat pagar kayu ini..."

Anak itu melihat pagar kayu tersebut dan menemukan banyak sekali lubang pada pagar kayu itu.

"Ya, ayah, aku lihat. Banyak sekali lubang bekas paku yang telah aku buat pada pagar kayu itu."

"Anakku yang kukasihi, kayu itu melambangkan hati setiap orang yang kamu kenal. Saat kamu menancapkan paku, maka kamu telah menyakiti orang itu. Saat kamu meminta maaf, maka perasaan benci dari orang yang kamu sakiti telah lenyap, namun tidak akan bisa menghapus rasa sakit atas perbuatan yang telah kamu lakukan. Lihat lubang-lubang ini. Dengan apakah kamu akan menambalnya? Karena tidak akan mungkin untuk menghapus rasa sakit hati orang lain atas perbuatanmu itu."

...?Crazy Week?...

2006-03-25T19:23:00.000+07:00

Wheeww... What a crazy week... Kayaknya aku baru sekali ini de ngerasain hidup yang bener-bener kacau kayak gini. Semua hal yang aku lakuin kayaknya bener-bener salah. Di mataku ato di mata 'dia'.

Sebelumnya aku pikir aku harus berubah. Aku harus menjadi manusia baru yang berbeda dengan diriku yang sebelumnya. Kayaknya (kali ini) adalah kesalahan paling besar dalam hidupku. Aku ngga seharusnya berubah. Jika dibandingin dengan kehidupanku yang dulu, kehidupanku yang kali ini bener-bener SUCKS!!! Sorry, but I have to say this... IT'S JUST TOO FUCKIN' OUT OF MY CONTROL!!!

Aku lebih suka diriku yang cuek, gak pedulian, semauku sendiri, SMS kalo kepengin, Boker sembarangan, gak pernah pake celana dalem, ato merhatiin orang. Aku juga suka diriku yang diem, cool, moody, di kelas bawaannya bikin rusuh, pulang-pulang langsung coli 3x sehari, nangisin kehidupanku yang sucks, ditinggalin temen, trus bobo' dan dapet mimpi basah. Diriku adalah diriku. Gak pernah ada yang bisa ngerubah itu semua, sebelum aku bertemu dengan 'dia'...

Karena 'dia' aku mulai bikin komitmen dalam hidupku. 'Nata lagi kehidupanku yang mulai ancur. Pengin ngebuat sesuatu hal yang baru biar 'dia' gak mandang miring tentang diriku. I COMMITED TO MYSELF THAT I HAVE TO BE PERFECT GUY TO HER!!! Yea, dude, it's all about girl... One girl that made a change a lot to my life.

Lalu, aku berusaha menjadi yang terbaik bagi dia... Aku gak pernah lagi cuek, anti-social, ato moody. Hidupku selalu aku isi dengan keceriaan2 biar gak kebawa trus sampe pulang skul. Di rumah, bokep-bokep koleksiku dah aku apus, biar gak ada kesempatan lagi buat mikir yang jorok-jorok. Larinya? Ke Alkitab dunx...

Asal kamu semua tahu, 'dia'-lah yang bikin aku punya inisiatif buat SaTe setiap hari, malem-malem menjelang bobo. Itu semua atas kesadaran aku sendiri biar Lord JC ngasih aku jalan-Nya yang terbaik dalam hal ini. Aku juga selalu pergumulin dia dalam setiap doa-doaku setiap malem. Ummmhhh... Tapi sekarang aku yakin, inilah jawaban JC atas doa-doaku setiap malem. Aku sadar 'dia' bukanlah yang terbaik buat diriku selama ini... Mo bukti? Apa kamu semua tau rasanya nunggu 2 jam kayak orang bego dan pulang malem2 trus keujanan gara-gara suatu hal yang gak bisa aku dapetin...? IT'S FUCKIN' USELESS AND WASTED MY PRECIOUS TIME, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! :-p

Ah... Diriku... Diriku... Kadang aku berpikir... Apakah ada yang salah dengan diriku...? Kenapa aku harus sebodoh itu dalam bertindak... :`-(

Trus gak lama aku curhat-curhatan ma temenku (eh, emangnya cewe aja yang boleh curhat... :-p) Dia bener-bener ngasih suatu hal yang baru bagi aku. Dia emang ga ngasih kata-kata mutiara ato sok perhatian dalam menyikapi masalahku, yang dia lakuin cuma... diem, ngedengerin setiap masalahku dan bilang gini: 'Ummhh.. aku gak nyangka juga sih, ada juga cewe yang model kaya gitu... Aku yakin kamu bakal dapet yang lebih baik. Apalagi kamu cakep. Ya ga? Narsismu mana? Jangan diilangin...' Huehuehuehhe... Akhirnya, ada juga yang bilang aku cakep (padahal emang iya... Heran, pada buta semua, ya, orang-orang... *Narcist_Mode:ON*...) Huehueheuhh... :-p Akhirnya setelah aku bisa rada tenang dikit (sebelumnya aku da kaya 'setan' gitu, marah-marah di telepon :-p) , dia bilang gini... 'ya udah, biar dech itu jadi pelajaran kamu supaya jangan percaya sama kita-kita, hehehe... Sekarang kamu tidur, kan besok harus sekolah... Sweet dreams, yaa... Bye...! *Telp. ditutup*'. Yaahhh... Lumayan bikin adem juga sehh... FINALLY, I CAN WIPE 'HER' OUT OF MY MIND!!! :-p

Yahhh... Semua 'pengorbanan' ini pasti ada hikmahnya. Cuman yang aku gak habis pikir, (emang bener kata temenku), kok ada cewe yang model kayak gitu... Ngejadiin aku cuman pelarian dia doang. Emangnya dia siapa?? Bisa bikin aku bener-bener ancur kayak gini... Emangnya dia pikir aku cuma patung lilin yang nggak punya perasaan juga. Kalo boleh jujur, aku lumayan sakit ati ma dia... Yang bikin gw kesel, kenapa pas gw tembak, dia tu bilang 'iya'... Aarrrggghhh... Tapi sekarang da lumayan tenang se, terobati gara-gara omongan temenku itu. Hehehehhh... :-p

Ummmhh... Akhirnya, kita cuma jadi sahabat doang seehh... Tapi sekarang gantian gw yang gak yakin, apa bener 'dia' masih mo sobatan sama aku...? Kalo aku pikir-pikir seh, kayaknya gak mungkin banget. Kalo temen, masih mungkin, tapi kalo dah ke 'sobat'... Waahhh... Ntar dulu. Aku kayaknya dah gak percaya 'dia' lagi d... :-p Aku kayaknya juga sadar kalo setiap kali dia sms nanyain hari-hari gw, itu cuman basa-basi doang. Yahhh... Kita emang gak mungkin bisa kayak dulu lagi...

Sekarang yang aku mau: Bangun tidur, ngrokok 2 batang Marlboro merah, makan, ngobrol ma nyokap, berangkat sekolah, di jalan ngecer inter, di skul tidur sampe jam istirahat, maen kartu, tidur lagi sampe jam pulang, langsung pulang (GAK USAH LAGI NGENTANG2 NUNGGU DI SKUL UNTUK HAL YANG SAMA SEKALI GAK PENTING... :-p), maen gitar dengan volume maksimum, nulis puisi2 emo, nangis2 gak keruan, coli, trus tidur... En nglakuin hal yang sama besoknya... Asal kamu tau aja... Aku lebih nyaman dengan kehidupanku yang seperti itu daripada yang sekarang!!! :-p

Last but not least, ijinin gw ngomong sesuatu... Sis, asal kamu tau, aku bener-bener sayang sama kamu. Mungkin sekarang cuma sebagai sahabat, tapi satu hal yang harus kamu tau, kamu tu pernah 'nyampe' di hatiku, dan selamanya akan ada terus. Love u. :-)

xoxo,
xxREJECTEDxx d1nOnly nbdySDsme
(I've been rejected once again... :-p)

!!!JUMP!!!

2006-03-22T22:00:00.000+07:00

I donâ€™t wanna wake up today
Cuz every dayâ€™s the same
And Iâ€™ve been waiting so long
For things to change

Iâ€™m sick of this town
Sick of my job
Sick of my friends cuz everyoneâ€™s cheated
Sick of this placeI wanna break free
Iâ€™m so frustrated

I just wanna jump (jump)
Donâ€™t wanna think about tomorrow (jump)
I just donâ€™t care tonight
I just wanna jump (jump)
Donâ€™t wanna think about my sorrow
Letâ€™s go whoa
Forget your problems
I just wanna jump

I donâ€™t wanna wake up one day
And find out itâ€™s too late
To do all the things I wanna do
So Iâ€™m gonna pack up my bags
Iâ€™m never comin back
Cuz the years are passin by
And Iâ€™ve wasted all my t-t-time

Iâ€™m sick of this house
Sick of bein broke
Sick of this town thatâ€™s bringin me down
Iâ€™m Sick of this place I wanna break free
Iâ€™m so frustrated

I just wanna jump (jump)
Donâ€™t wanna think about tomorrow (jump)
I just donâ€™t care tonight
I just wanna jump (jump)
Donâ€™t wanna think about my sorrow
Letâ€™s go woah
Forget your problems
I just wanna jump
I just wanna jump

I canâ€™t take it anymore
I canâ€™t take it anymore
I canâ€™t take it anymore
Canâ€™t take it
Canâ€™t take it
Canâ€™t take it (take it anymore)
Forget tomorrow

I just wanna jump (jump)
Donâ€™t wanna think about tomorrow (jump)
I just donâ€™t care tonight
I just wanna jump (jump)
Donâ€™t wanna think about my sorrow
Letâ€™s go whoa
Forget your problems
I said letâ€™s just go whoa
Forget tomorrow
I just wanna jump (jump)
I just wanna jump (jump)
Yeah
I just wanna jump (jump)
I just wanna jump

!!!I'd Do Anything!!!

2006-03-22T21:44:00.000+07:00

Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'm here waiting

And I wrote this letter in my head
'Cuz so many things were left unsaid
but now you're gone
And I can't think straight

This could be the one last chance
To make you understand

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past

I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
'Cuz I know I won't forget you

Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of droping out of school
And leave this place to never come back

So now maybe after all these years
If you miss me have no fear
I'll be here I'll be waiting

This could be the one last chance
to make you understand
And I just can't let you leave me once again

I close my eyes
And all I see is you
I close my eyes
I try to sleep
I can't forget you

nanana (...)
And I'd do anything for you

I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
There's nothing I won't do

I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
'Cuz I know I won't forget you

i.do.hate

2006-03-22T21:42:00.000+07:00

I Do Hate:

1. LAME ppl...

2. Unclear ppl...

3. Untrustable ppl...

4. Life ***iwannatakeabreakfromthisfuckinhorriblesituationjusttoseeificanbreath***

4.1. LoV3... ***i used to be, but now, I don't trust in Love***

5. Relationship ***I'd rather be alone survived in this fuckin' crazy world***

6. Me... ***i.hate.everything.lying.deep.inside.of.me***

6. ...Unperfect Situation...

6. \\\Everyone who cries about his life/// ***That's why I hate myself***

7. ...And you ppl who read this shit... FUCK YOU!!! ***you know who you are...***

...I Feel So...

2006-03-22T21:15:00.000+07:00

Sometimes

I wish I was brave..

I wish I was stronger..

I wish I could feel no pain..

I wish I was young

I wish I was shy

I wish I was honest

I wish I was you not I

'Cause I feel so mad

I feel so angry

I feel so callused

So lost, confused, again

I feel so cheap

So used, unfaithful

Let's start over..

Sometimes

I wish I was smart

I wish I made cures for

How people are

I wish I had power

I wish I could lead

I wish I could change the world

For you and me

'Cause I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again

I feel so cheap

So used, unfaithful

Let's start over

'CauseI feel so mad

I feel so angry

I feel so callused

So lost, confused, again

I feel so cheap

So used, unfaithful

Let's start over

I feel so mad

I feel so angry

I feel so callused

So lost, confused, again

I feel so cheap

So used, unfaithful

Let's start over

Let's start over..

ps. ... I feel so cheap ...

...Untitled... (Again!!! :-p)

2006-03-21T17:46:00.000+07:00

I think of a while ago
We might of have had it all
I was so stupid then
You needed time to grow
But now just as things change
As well my feelings do
In time things rearrange
I am so sick of chasing you

But what do I get 'cause I just seem to lose
You make me regret those times I spent with you
And playing those games as I wait for your call
And now I give up, so goodbye and so long

It's not a change of pace
This time I'll get it right
It's not a change of taste
I was the one there last night

You have your other friends
They were there when you cried
Didn't mean to hurt you then
Best friends just won't leave your side

But what do I get 'cause I just seem to lose
You make me regret those times I spent with you
And playing those games as I wait for your call
And now I give up, so goodbye and so long

It's not a change of pace
This time I'll get it right
It's not a change of taste
I was the one there last night

When I needed you most
When I needed a friend
You let me down now
Like I let you down then
So sorry, it's over

...Sebelum Kamu Mengeluh...

2006-03-18T10:27:00.002+07:00

1.Hari ini sebelum kamu mengatakan kata-kata yang tidak baik,
Pikirkan tentang seseorang yang tidak dapat berbicara sama sekali

2.Sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang rasa dari makananmu,
Pikirkan tentang seseorang yang tidak punya apapun untuk dimakan.

3.Sebelum anda mengeluh tidak punya apa-apa,
Pikirkan tentang seseorang yang meminta-minta dijalanan.

4.Sebelum kamu mengeluh bahwa kamu buruk,
Pikirkan tentang seseorang yang berada pada tingkat yang terburuk didalam hidupnya.

5.Sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang suami atau istri anda,
Pikirkan tentang seseorang yang memohon kepada Tuhan untuk diberikan teman hidup

6.Hari ini sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang hidupmu,
Pikirkan tentang seseorang yang meninggal terlalu cepat

7.Sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang anak-anakmu,
Pikirkan tentang seseorang yang sangat ingin mempunyai anak tetapi belum dikaruniai

8.Sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang rumahmu yang kotor karena pembantumu tidakmengerjakan tugasnya,
Pikirkan tentang orang-orang yang tinggal dijalanan

9.Sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang jauhnya kamu telah menyetir,
Pikirkan tentang seseorang yang menempuh jarak yang sama dengan berjalan

10.Dan disaat kamu lelah dan mengeluh tentang pekerjaanmu,
Pikirkan tentang pengangguran, orang-orang cacat yang berharap mereka mempunyai pekerjaan seperti anda.

11.Sebelum kamu menunjukkan jari dan menyalahkan orang lain,
Ingatlah bahwa tidak ada seorangpun yang tidak berdosa.

12.Dan ketika kamu sedang bersedih dan hidupmu dalam kesusahan,
Tersenyum dan berterima kasihlah kepada Tuhan bahwa kamu masih hidup!

Nice Guys Finish Last -> Dari bul-nya fs. :-p

2006-03-18T10:27:00.001+07:00

To every guy that regrets hurting her. To every guy who knows which girl he wants. To every guy that's said, "Sex can wait." To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful." To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her. To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.To every guy that said he would die for her. To every guy that really would. To every guy that did what she wanted to do. To every guy that cried in front of her. To every guy that she cried in front of. To every guy that holds hands with her. To every guy that kisses her with meaning. To every guy that hugs her when she's sad. To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all. To every guy who would give their jacket up. To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe. To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to be able to see her for ten minutes.To every guy that would give his seat up. To every guy who forgave her even if she hurt him To every guy that just wants to cuddle. To every guy tha treassured her that she was beautiful no matter what. To every guy who told his secrets to her. To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath. To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one. To every guy that believed in her dreams. To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them. To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams. To every guy that walked her to her car. To every guy that wasn't just trying to get laid. To every guy that actually listened. To every guy that gave his heart only to have it shoved back in his face. TO EVERY GUY THAT PRAYS THAT SHE IS HAPPY EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT WITH HER.

msg: This one is for you... Not all girls appreciate nice guys. There's not many left out there....
If you are a nice guy repost this: "Nice guys finish last"
If you are a girl that thinks every guy should try to encompass even a few of these repost this: "To the nice guys out there!"

Rayuan Gombal :-p

2006-03-18T10:27:00.000+07:00

cowo: Mbak, bapaknya ahli perbintangan ya??
Cewe: Ah.. tidak, memang kenapa??
cowo: Saya lihat bintang dimata mbak...

cowo: Maaf mba, jangan terlalu lama duduk dikursi itu, pindah dideket saya saja
Cewe: Loh?? kenapa??
Cowo: Takut dikerubung semut.. soalnya mba manis.. :D

Cowo: "Mbak punya obeng nggak?"
Cewe: "Hah? Gak Punya tuh."
Cowo: "Tapi kalo nomor telepon punya, kan?"

===========================================

Dari bule sono:

M: "Are you an Interior Decorator?"
W: "No. Why?"
M: "When I saw you enter, the room became beautiful"

-----------------------------------------------------

M: "Are you religious?"
W: "Yes "
M: "Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers."

--------------------------------------------------

M: "Baby, did you fart, Cause you blow me away..."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

M: "How is your fever?"
W: "What Fever?"
M: "Oh.. you just look so hot to me..."

----------------------------------------

M: "Wow! I didn't know that angels could fly so low!"

------------------------------------------------------

M: "Can I get a picture of you to prove to my friends that angels do really exist."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

M: "Wow! How did you do that???!!!"
W: "Do what?"
M: "Look so good..."

-----------------------------------

M: "Hey, I lost my phone number.. can I have yours?"

----------------------------------------------------

M: "Hey Laura!! (Big Hug), I haven't seen you FOREVER!!!! (Huge KISS) Wow, you've really have changed!!!
W: "Wait, I'm not Laura.."
M: "What? Oh my god, You even changed your name!!!=========================================================

And my favorite...

Cowo: "Sayang, kamu itu seperti sendok..."
Cewe: "Kenapa?"
Cowo: "Karena kamu ngaduk-ngaduk perasaan aku..."

___________________________________________________________

Cowo: "Yang, badan kamu sekarang sakit semua ga?"
Cewe: "Ga tuh, kenapa?"
Cowo: "Soalnya aku kemarin abis liat kamu jatuh dari surga..."

atau bisa juga

Cowo: "Yang, kamu ga capek-capek yawh..."
Cewe: "Apaan?"
Cowo: "Mengelilingi pikiranku..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2006-02-26T12:52:00.000+07:00

Ahhh... Hari ini diriku senang sekali, sebab...

SAYA TELAH MENGUASAI LAGU YOUR REVOLUTION IS A JOKE - FUNERAL FOR A FRIENDS... :-P

Tau gak seh kamu, kalo lagu itu pingin banget saya kuasain sejak saya kelas 2 SMA ini... Uhhh... bangganya diriku... Hehehehh... :-p

Eh, tapi sekarang akhir-akhir ini makin banyak cewe-cewe yang demen ngomong 'aq' yahh... Ngomongnya bukan 'aku' tapi 'akyuu..' dengan gaya-gaya yang sok imut gitu.. Uhhhh... Sucks... Another narcist term has been born...

:-p

xoxo,

xxrejectedxx

d1nonly nbdySDsme

ps: Eh, sekarang gw lagi demen banget denger lagunya Dashboard Confessional yang July... ANJRIT, KEREN MAMPUS!! :-p

!!!JUANCOK!!!

2006-02-26T12:44:00.000+07:00

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JUANCOKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!3 hari lagi makalah dah kudu dikumpulin, dan gw sama sekali blom buatttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

asu, ngelu iki ndasku...

Jancok, coba seandainya ada mukjizat... Saya bisa menyelesaikannya tepat waktu...

saya bersumpah akan hidup selibat....

hehehehhh.... :-p

kidding... kidding...

Ancene asu tenan iki...

!!!somebody, HELP ME!!!

...Time To Break Up...

2006-02-24T20:42:00.000+07:00

I guess it's only the men
Who get fucked now and again
We take our chicks to the mall
We wait in parking stalls

And when we come home too late
She's pissed that she had to wait
And my excuse not to call
It never worked at all

Time to wake up
Where's your daughter
Hurt's to break up
She was stronger
All my friends say
Please don't love her
What did i gain? now
I miss her so

I used to hate the lipstick
It stained and tasted so sick
The pantyhose and the bras
She threw on my guitars

Shit, fuck I made a mistake
I thought i needed a break
The truth is i'm such a dick
It's broke and can't be fixed

Time to wake up
Where's your daughter
Hurt's to break up
She was stronger
All my friends say
Please don't love her
What did i gain? now
I miss her so

If you wanna call it a heartache
Then i shouldn't regret those things
I miss her
If you want the pain to go away
Better suck up your pride and admit
You lost her
Let her go
Move on
Let her go
Move on
Let her go

...Wasting Time...

2006-02-24T20:29:00.000+07:00

I'm wasting time thinking about a girl
And stealing her away from her world
She and I would run away
I think of all the things that I'd say
We'd talk about important things
And I picture it in my dreams
She'd teach me about modern art
And I'd show her it's okay to fart and

Maybe I'd impress her
By being in a band and
Maybe if I act real tough
She'd let me hold her hand and
Maybe I'll win her heart
By writing this song about her
Sometimes I sit at home and
Wonder if she's sitting at home
Thinking of me and wondering if I'm
Sitting at home, thinking about her
Or am I just wasting my time

Remembering how she laughed at Kinko's
When I made fun of that guy
Remembering the look she gave me
When I told her that I used to fry
I really want to ask her out
But my ego could never take it
And even if I got the balls
You know that the Cougar would never make it

And maybe I'd impress her
By being in a band and
Maybe if I act real tough
She'd let me hold her hand and
Maybe I'll win her heart
By writing this song about her
Sometimes I sit at home and
Wonder if she's sitting at home
Thinking of me and wondering if I'm
Sitting at home, thinking about her
Or am I just wasting my time

Am I just wasting my time
Am I just wasting my time
Am I just wasting my time
Wasting my time thinking about a girl

ps. : Am I just wasting my time thinkin' bout her? YEAH, I GUESS I DO. :-p

!!!I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT YOU!!

2006-02-24T20:01:00.000+07:00

Can you leave me here alone now
I don't wanna hear you say
That you know me
That I should be
Always doing what you say
Cause i'm trying to get through today
And there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you
Or think about me
Don't wanna figure this out
I don't wanna think about you
Or think about nothing
Don't wanna talk this one out
I won't let you bring me down
Cause I know
I don't wanna think about you
I don't wanna think about you

When I wake up here tomorrow
Things will never be the same
Cause I won't wait
Cause you won't change
And you'll always be this way
Now I'm gonna get through today
And there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you
Or think about me
Don't wanna figure this out
I don't wanna think about you
Or think about nothing
Don't wanna talk this one out
This time I won't let you bring me down
Won't let you shut me out
This time I know
I don't wanna think about you

Run away, run away
Running as fast as I can
Run away, run away
I'll never come back again
Run away, run away

[CHORUS]

!!!Test Ur Knowledge!!!

2006-02-22T21:55:00.001+07:00

Maybe I should just forget you...

I don't wanna think about you,
or think about me,
don't wanna figure this out...

So long, sweet summer...

Together we broke all of the rules
dreaming bout dropping out of the schools
and leave this place
to never comeback...

I take everything for the inside,
and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time
I won't waste myself with you...

I want you to know that I miss you...

Don't waste your time on me
You're already the voice inside my head
(I miss you...)

...I'm so sick of chasing you...

...Dumb to ask, cool to ignore...

...Yeah, my love, I miss you...

What's your problem? ...

I feel fine.
Doesn't really matter now cause I'm all right.
She knocked me on my ass again, but I don't mind.
Looks like I'm alone again and I feel fine.

Do you notice I'm gone...

when the most I could do was to just blame myself
and I know you know, everything
I know you didnt mean it
I know you didnt mean it

What will happen next, I don't wanna know...

...But it's right there when you turn around.
Everybody makes a mistake,
I know how you feel...

...But her ego is still hard to move...

And it'll happen once again, you'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands, sees through the master plan
But everybody's gone, and you've been there for too long,
To face this on your own, well I guess this is growing up...

ps. : Tebak-tebakan berhadiah -> Tuliskan siapa penyanyi dan judul lagu ini sebelum 28 Februari 2005, ada hadiah menarik menanti anda. Jawaban cukup dituliskan di komen post ini. Oh yeah, no Googling pls. :-)
(Eh, ini serius lohhh...!!!)

...It's Just An Obsession, Guys!...

2006-02-22T21:48:00.000+07:00

Hari ini adalah sama seperti hari-hari yang saya rasakan kemarin. Tidak ada yang berubah. Tidak ada yang baru. Semua rutinitas yang saya alami tampaknya hanya merupakan pengulangan dari hari-hari yang sebelumnya. Kecuali di malam hari...

Setiap malam saya selalu merasakannya. Suatu perasaan aneh yang tidak pernah saya rasakan sebelumnya. Suatu perasaan yang bisa dikatakan sebagai hal 'terburuk' yang pernah saya rasakan.

Saya benci dengan kehidupan saya yang dulu, tetapi entah kenapa saya ingin kembali menjadi diri saya yang sebelumnya... Suatu pribadi yang tertutup, egois, lebih mementingkan perasaannya sendiri dan... tidak pernah merasakan 'perasaan' itu.

Terakhir kali saya merasakan 'perasaan' itu waktu beberapa tahun yang lalu. Waktu itu saya mencintai seseorang tetapi kami tidak bisa berjalan terus karena tampaknya kami memang tidak sejalan. Memang, beberapa tahun yang lalu saya hanyalah seorang remaja bodoh yang belum bisa mendefinisikan apa artinya cinta itu sebenarnya. Hanya saja remaja bodoh ini hanya ingin berusaha untuk membuat dia bahagia bersama saya. Hal yang sama seperti yang saya rasakan sekarang ini. Namun beberapa tahun yang lalu saya sadar perasaan itu hanyalah emosi sesaat. Perasaan itu hanya merupakan obsesi saya. Tidak lebih. Buktinya sekarang saya bisa lebih bahagia tanpa dia... Walaupun masih terasa sakit...

Obsesi... Sebuah kata yang absurd. Sebuah kata yang tipis batasannya dengan arti cinta yang sebenarnya. Saya hampir tidak dapat membedakan apa perbedaan dari cinta dengan obsesi itu sebenarnya, sebab bagi saya perasaan itu sama. Kita sama-sama merasakan hal yang sama jika kita terobsesi dengan seseorang dengan kita mencintai seseorang. Namun pada akhirnya saya sadar bahwa perbedaan itu terletak pada hal yang kita lakukan saat orang tersebut tahu tentang yang kita berikan. Jika hal itu hanya obsesi, kita hanya akan merasakan suatu 'kemenangan' karena kita telah mendapatkan apa yang kita inginkan, namun tidak lebih. Kita tidak akan pernah bisa mempertahankannya, dan hal itu tidak akan membuat kita dan dia bahagia.

Berbeda dengan cinta yang sebenarnya. Sebuah cinta yang sejati adalah sebuah perasaan yang bisa membebaskan seseorang tanpa mengharapkan balasan. Kita hanya memberikan sesuatu yang terbaik dari diri kita agar orang yang kita cintai tersebut itu bahagia dengan kita. Dan cinta yang sejati tidak mengharapkan balasan. Hanya sebuah perbuatan memberi... Sekarang saya sadar akan hal itu.

Saat perasaan ini datang lagi saya hanya bisa bertanya pada diri saya sendiri, apakah ini hanya merupakan obsesi saya belaka. Apakah ini semua hanyalah sebuah tantangan untuk mendapatkan cinta yang tidak pernah bisa saya dapatkan..? Sebab dari semua hal yang terjadi belakangan ini saya telah belajar satu hal: Dia tidak akan pernah bahagia bersama saya sebagai seorang kekasih. Sebagai teman? Mungkin saja. Mungkin itulah yang terbaik.

Sekarang saya telah menyadari kekeliruan saya. Saya sekarang hanya ingin melenyapkan obsesi saya terhadap dirinya... Dan menjadi diri saya yang sebelumnya.

...My Alien...

2006-02-20T21:42:00.000+07:00

Pernahkah anda mendengar lagi dari Simple Plan yang berjudul 'My Alien'? I bet y'all had. Lagu ini intinya bercerita tentang seseorang yang mencintai seseorang tetapi orang tersebut terasa jauuuh... Walaupun orang itu dekat. Yah, seperti mencintai seorang Alien. Hehe... Yahh, hal yang sama seperti yang saya rasakan sekarang ini, sih... Saya sekarang sedang mencintai...

WAIT... Mencintai...??!! Ahhh... Kayaknya saya sekarang sedang omong kosong deh. Sesuai dengan hukum pertama Newton (Ehm, ini ilmiah bo! :-p) jika kita memberikan suatu gaya pada benda lain maka kita akan menerima gaya yang sama dengan gaya yang kita berikan sebelumnya. Nah, jika kita tidak menerima gaya tersebut maka dapat dikatakan bahwa gaya yang kita lakukan adalah bernilai nol. Sama seperti itu, tampaknya saya hanya sia-sia saja memberikan 'gaya' tersebut. :-p

Tampaknya saya sekarang saya telah salah mengerti tentang 'gaya' yang dia berikan. Yah, saya terlalu asyik dengan perasaan saya sendiri hingga tidak memikirkan tentang logikanya. Ahhh... Tampaknya saya memang salah. :-p

!!!WTF!!!

2006-02-18T17:41:00.000+07:00

Scott Stapp, Kid Rock's Too Candid Camera
02/17/2006 5:49 PM, E! Online
Josh Grossberg

Just what Scott Stapp needs these days--some, um, good publicity.

The former Creed crooner and his Cocky-espousing pal Kid Rock are the latest celebs to find their sexploits immortalized on video.

On Thursday, just five days after the supposedly sobered-up Stapp got busted for public drunkenness on his way to his honeymoon, the online porn purveyor responsible for Paris Hilton's infamous One Night in Paris began previewing footage of the two musicians engaged in sex acts with various women.

The California-based Red Light District has uploaded a 40-second clip at KidRockSexTape.com and ScottStappSexTape.com showing Rock and Stapp tag-teaming for a 45-minute lovefest with several groupies. Although recorded back in 1999, when Rock and Creed were on the road together, the tape only surfaced recently, according to Red Light's president, David Joseph.
The tape came from a "third party," says Joseph and its release has not been sanctioned by either Stapp or Kid Rock. Joseph says he convinced the unnamed seller not to release the video for free on the Internet.

Reps for both musicians did not immediately respond to calls seeking comment, so it's not known whether they will endorse the sale of the video in exchange for a percentage of profits, as Hilton and Rock's ex Pamela Anderson (with her former hubby, Tommy Lee) eventually did with their sex tapes, or whether they will sue to block its release, as was the case with Colin Farrell.

Joseph--who has also released One Night in China starring former pro wrestler and Surreal Life star Joanie "Chyna Doll" Laurer, and oversees the iPod-ready iPorn.com--claims to have tried to reach both rock stars, but had no success. He says because the footage was apparently shot by different people, he doesn't necessarily need Stapp or Kid Rock's cooperation to release the tape. Of course, their lawyers haven't weighed in yet.

While the rockers don't cross swords, the sneak peek online shows them talking to one another (Stapp borrows a line from History of the World, Part I, telling Rock, "It's good to be the king") as they engage with women on a tour bus.

Of course, both rockers could use a little career Viagra at this point and the sex tape might prove to be the trick (after all, scandalous candid-camera moments certainly worked wonders for Anderson and Hilton). Kid Rock's sales have been flaccid of late, with his 2003 self-titled release failing to generate much heat on the charts. Besides, the Detroit artist's has a new live disc, Live Trucker, hitting stores later this month.

Likewise, since going solo in the wake of Creed's breakup, Stapp hasn't moved many copies of his 2004 album, The Great Divide. And he begins a tour later this month.

Then again, now that Stapp is a week into his marriage with former Miss New York Jaclyn Nesheiwat, he might not want his previous liaisons going public. And while the beauty queen hasn't commented on the sex tape, we're guessing that, as director of public affairs for the Scott Stapp Foundation, which promotes healthy parent-child relationships, she's not exactly tickled.

ps. : Ummhh... Though he sang a very 'Christian' song, now I can't believe in my own eyes... After got caught on airport for drunk, now what??? Caught on sex tape??? Uhhh... Go to hell, dude!!!

...Mistaken...

2006-02-18T17:35:00.000+07:00

Now I'm thinkin' for another moment I take,
is this the best that I get?
And I'll say, no, it won't last forever, you'd stay.
On your mind you feel the battle inside you.
Now please tell me one thing for real,
do you believe in you?
Run this feel like I do.

But I was wrong
I'm lying to myself

I think I've been mistaken
I think I've been misled
So I'm gonna stay on my own again,
and say goodbye...

ps. : damn! Seems its hard to find the 2nd verse part, somehow. Dunno why.. :-p

...Seeking The 'One'... :-p

2006-02-18T17:32:00.000+07:00

1. Harus penggemar musik!!
> Emo is optional, tapi paling nggak harus punya selera musik yang nggak kampungan (Dewa, Padi, ADA Band, ato dangdut!). O yea, for d Avril Fanz, go suck your grandpa's dick! :-p...

2. Punya inner beauty.
> It means, cewe yang gw mau tu ga harus cakep2 amat, tapi yang jelas harus punya yang satu itu... Ever watched Shallow Hal? Yah, some kind like that! :-)

3. Ga jaim.
> Cewe sok cool, sok cantik, narsis, dan sebangsanya.. Aarrghh... It makes me puke till d last shit! :-p

4. Ga plin-plan.
> Ini penting.. Coz gw paling ga suka cewe yang suka ga jelas dalam menentukan langkah yang harus diambil. Yah, tau sehh kalo cewe tu lebih condong emosional dalam mutusin masalah, tapi paling ngga tu cewe harus jelas dalam bersikap. Take it or leave it, that's what I'm tryin' to say, dude! :-p

5. Harus perhatian!
> Wahh, ini penting juga... Bukan berarti gw haus perhatian dan kurang kasih sayang loohh... Maksudnya yah, kan yang namanya pacaran harus ada yang 'lebih' dong, ya ga? :-p

6. Harus bisa ngasih solusi2 yang tepat.
> Yah, tau sendiri kan gw tu orangnya super duper ga serius... Yang gw mau paling ngga ada orang yang bisa ngasih gw advice kalo ada suatu hal yang salah dalam hidup gw. :-)

7. Vast-minded.
> Ini penting juga... Supaya bisa ngimbangin kepinteran gw... Hehehehhh... :-p

8. Harus seiman.
> Yang penting harus cinta JC dan rajin ke gereja. Penting, soalnya biar gw ada motivasi buat ke gereja. Hehehehh... :-p

9. Jago Inggris.
> Jarang-jarang lho, ada cewe yang jago Inggris, makanya gw suka ma cewe yang model gini. :-p

10. Sabar.
> Ummhh... Just like my mom. :-p

...Lucu Juga...

2006-02-18T17:22:00.000+07:00

Guys fact :

When a guy calls u,
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you.

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes,
he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest,
he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday,
he is in love

When a (good) guy say he loves you,
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you,
he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have ever missed
him or anything else

Girl facts:

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
she is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever,"
she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more than that.

... I Miss You ...

2006-02-09T22:12:00.000+07:00

I look back in the past, and I see something sweet

Mystery that always haunt me back in this present time

In this memories I lay everything to take back those times

Say, is that worth enough for me to be fought on?

Seems like I've been fall down on you

Yeah, my love. I Miss you.

Over this ego and everything that keep this distance,

U are my only one.

ps. : I've got the rhytm... Who wants hear it? :-p Hehehhh...

!!!I'm All Alone!!!

2006-02-09T22:06:00.000+07:00

I'm all alone

Still been on my bed and thinkin' my past
I know it was a hard day and It won't last
until today I feel like my life's a test
From the High One, how I live my life's best

Just now I feel like the world turned his back on me
Too much blood, and sweat, and tears
Just for another worthless reason
And I'm still waiting for another season...

Now everyday's the same old song
from another same old singer
Yeah, I'm the one whose to blame
and I never be the same anymore...

Still been on my bed and thinkin' bout now
I feel like I couldn't live it somehow
I always take the worst thing
And right now I just wanna sing...

Now everyday's the same old song
from another same old singer
Yeah, I'm the one whose to blame
cuz I couldn't never be the same

I'm all alone...
Yeah, I'm all alone...
Now, are you happy now...?
Can't you see what's inside?

Do you see my blood?
It's just the same as yours...
Do you see my tears?
That never be dropped in front of you...

Now everyday's the same old song
from another same old singer
Yeah, I'm the one whose to blame
cuz I couldn't never be the same

Now everyday's the same old song
from another same old singer
Yeah, I'm the one whose to blame
cuz I couldn't never be the same anymore...

ps. : Whoaaaa... My Kewlest Lyric I've Ever Made!!! :-p Teehee...

...Our Inner Feelings...

2006-02-05T00:29:00.000+07:00

Random Thoughts

On Love and Other Issues

by Rebecca Brents

1. There are people in this world who love you ... perhaps people you don't even know.

2. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because something in him wants to be just like you.

3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if he doesn't like you. It might even change his mind.

4. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before he goes to sleep. Someone who loved you in the past ... has never lost the feeling.

5. You mean the world to someone, and you need to find the ones who mean the world to you. With any luck, they are the same people.

6. If not for you, someone may not be living.

7. You are special and unique. Experiencing that is your reason for living.

8. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. It is your responsibility to find that good ... and make sure it prospers. After all, you -- and perhaps others -- have paid dearly for it.

9. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another look. Most likely you turned your back on the world.

10. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't, but if you believe in yourself, sooner or later, you probably will.

11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget the rude remarks. "Constructive criticism" is never wrapped in a rude remark. Don't buy into that lie.

12. Always tell someone how you feel about him; you will feel much better when he knows. (Yes, this includes the people who are problems for you ... and whom you don't especially like, but do take responsibility for the fact it's you who doesn't like them.)

13. If you have a great friend, tell him so. A lot.

14. Even if it turns out badly, loving someone is never a mistake. Letting yourself be mistreated "in the name of love," however, is.

15. Just because someone says he loves you ... doesn't mean it's true. And just because someone never says the words ... doesn't mean his heart wouldn't break if you were gone.

16. If at least one person's life has not been improved, made happier, made easier, made more comfortable, made wiser by your presence in the world ... you need to fix that before you go.

Alcohol And Straight-Edge Perspective

2006-02-03T22:04:00.000+07:00

Ok. So here's my take on going to parties with alcohol when you're straight edge. It can be alright. Most of the time it's tollerable in my experience. But it definitely depends on your level of disgust with the effects of acholol on the people at the party. More specifically it depends on the effects of alcohol on the people you know at the party. Who cares what strangers do or how they act. Take for example the office party. The holiday office party where you get to see your bosses tanked. This is one of those times when I would prefer simply not to go. Or, as I did this year, simply make an appearance for a few minutes and then escape to the yummy Thai restaurant next door. Some of the last people on earth that I want to see drunk or tipsy are the people I work with. They are all generally interesting people and I enjoy talking to them on a day-to-day basis. I respect them. But seeing them all happy for no reason, maybe stumbling on their words or professing their love for one another... well it does very, very little to boost my confidence with them in the workplace. Yes, I have to keep it in perspective. People drink. Surprise.

Another funky situation is when you go out to drink with a significant other. Here's where it gets tricky. Ok... don't want to intrude on their lifestyle if they are a drinker. But, you definitely don't want to see them tipsy either. Hell no, because as a straight edge guy I can guarantee that you didn't become attracted to them when they were tipsy and they certainly aren't going to get more attractive when they are tipsy. In fact they will be substantially less attractive. Massively so. And that feeling can last for a week. And then with friends... if someone needs alcohol to become interesting then they're boring in the first place and it's very pathetic. If they were interesting and then get drunk they don't get more interesting.

I'm convinced that the whole trick to parties with alcohol is that NOBODY there should really be sober. Think of it like this... the next day, Monday or whatever, if people are standing around talking about how stupid they all got at the party it's no big deal. But if there's a straight edge guy stanting there too... and he says "yeah, you were a fucking idiot when you photocopied your ass cheek on the new minolta copier." it carries a different kind of weight. And even if you, straight edger, don't mean it in some kind of mean way, it doesn't come accross nicely if you yourself weren't drunk. Which explains why I lost entire groups of friends from time to time after parties in high school and college.

So yeah. I'm trying to level out my intensity when it comes to the reality and pervasiveness of alcohol. It's here. The vast majority of people don't think about it like I do. And if I stuck with the people who do think about it like I do I'd be a damn lonely man. But it doesn't mean that I should go somewhere that I'm uncomfortable or be friends with or date people who do things I'm uncomfortable with. Fortunately I have a certain level of resigned comfort with alcohol. Those who take it in with a moderated or european perspective are easier for me to understand and be comfortable with. It takes work, it's definitely effort, but it can be done. But then I know that it will take the people at my office to take time getting comfortable with me being sober at their parties. Even if the decide to keep photocopying their asses. ;-)

taken from: http://www.straight-edge-life.com/SXE/997

ps. : Part of my resolution. Don't wanna do it again, dude! ;-)

!...Pathetic...!

2006-02-03T21:10:00.000+07:00

What is 'pathetic'?

1. to be completely worthless,

2. a total sack of shit,

3. a loser to never accomplish anything to totally suck ass

4. and a faggots that never ever accept the damn reality

ps. : we don't have to be mad except we are the one of them, r8? Teehee... ;-)
Once again, no personal feelings, just my thoughts.

xoxo,
xxrjctdxx d1nOnly nbdSDsme.

... :-p ...

2006-02-01T17:27:00.000+07:00

Well...

Dunno what to say,

but I realize that

today

is the best day

of my life.

Never thought that before.

Know why?

Cuz I'm free...

Pathetic?

Yes I am...

But as I look outside,

I see

there's a lot of people

who pretend to be cool,

and they think that it's cool

to be

hater.

Guess what, dude.

Go fuck your mom.

You're as pathetic as llama's ass does.

So I thank God for today.

There's still a person

that be more PATHETIC

than me...

No personal feelings.

Just my thoughts.

xoxo,

xxrejectedxx

d1nOnly

nbdySDsme.

!!!I Feel Fine!!!

2006-02-01T16:50:00.000+07:00

Right now I really don't care if I'm alone or if I got you sittin' here.
Oh, no look I've done it again.
Man I should think about it before I say anything.
1,2,3,4, Looks like I'm alone again and...

I feel fine.
Doesn't really matter now cause I'm all right.
She knocked me on my ass again, but I don't mind.
Looks like I'm alone again and I feel fine.

Right now I don't know what to say, because you're mean and I never liked you anyway.
Don't ever call cause I don't want to be friends.
Excuse me now because the chorus is comin' up again.
1,2,3,4, Looks like I'm alone again and...

I feel fine.
Doesn't really matter now cause I'm all right.
She knocked me on my ass again, but I don't mind.
Looks like I'm alone again and I feel fine.

They come and go and I don't feel a thing.
It's not cause I'm a jerk and I don't care.
And I don't know what's the matter with me.
I only know the right girl still out there.

I feel fine.
Doesn't really matter now cause I'm all right.
She knocked me on my ass again, but I don't mind.
Looks like I'm alone again and I feel fine.

I feel fine.
Doesn't really matter now cause I'm all right.
She knocked me on my ass again, but I don't mind.
Looks like I'm alone again and I feel fine

...The Power Of Songs...

2006-02-01T16:36:00.000+07:00

10 Songs that tears me down.

1. Hold On - Good Charlotte
> This song always lift me up whenever I'm down. It has very kewl lyrics and so related to me, even though I'm not at that bad 'situation' as it mentioned in that song. But, practically I was a depressed kid, and there's noone stand beside me. It was a long time, but for this day I think I've to hear it over and over. Haha.. :-)

2. Great Divide - Scott Stapp
> What can I say, soo rockin', sooo deep, soo Creed, and sooo Christian! Teehee.. This song is just 1/2 star out of The Price Of Love by The Wedding (research done by me.. Teehee.. :-). It always makes me remember that theres always someone that loved me so much. And that person is... God. So it makes me realize that I'm not alone in this world.

3. Only One - Yellowcard
> I love this song just because it's lyrical meaning. Dunno why, I just get amazed by those screamo voice and amazing violin part! It makes my tear fall down everytime he sings 'Here I go.. scream my lungs out just to get to you...'.

4. Somewhere Out There - Our Lady Peace
> Ahhh... This song's full of memories. This song was the one that cheer me up when I was get 'shocked' by my 2nd girlfriend.. Guess what, I'm still 'shocked' until today. By now, I still remember her voice and her expression when she said 'I don't love you. You are a jerk.'. Ahhhh... :-p

5. Broken Wings - Alter Bridge
> Can't really tell you why I cry when I hear this song. The best part of this song is when the singer sang 'On broken wings I'm falling and it won't be long...', and I fall down on the floor and start mourning.. :-p Kinda weird isn't it? ps. : I think it's a Christian song, but I'm not sure.(despite it's the crack of Creed).

6. Little Devotional - Taking Back Sunday
> Uhhh... Fuck, dude. It's the greatest song of their whole song!!! So fuckin' sad and full of reason to make you cry! So if you haven't heard it, you must be from the outworld! Teehee.. Get your crappy ass up and hear this song!!! :-p ps. : Listen when the singer sang 'Said I'm gonna have myself in shambles, before you folks are up and looking for some answers...'. I bet you'll start cryin' and thinkin' that you are worthless. No offense, dude. Just personal thought! :-p

7. Sidewalks - Story Of The Year
> Have you ever got cheated by somebody you loved? This song tells you that feeling. Watch their video clips, guys! It's full of reason not to believe somebody else but you, even your boy/girlfriend!

8. Poetic Tragedy - The Used
> 'Then in vioent, frustration he cries out to God or just no one..'. It's enough to describe why I cried everytime I hear this song. Plus the voice of the singer makes this song so soulful and so fuckin' kewl! 10 stars from me!! :-p

9. Everywhere - Yellowcard
> ... nfp. I can't tell you why this song is sad though it's beat are up.

10. Internal Collaboration Armour - Majesty
> Yeaa... Yeaa.. I know. All Indonesian bands are only posers. And this band is the copycat of Dashboard Confessional. Not even their music, but they copy Chris's voices too! Uhh... Fuck... Listen, the beat of this song is strangely same to DC's song: ...(uhhh... I forgot.. :-p ) . Some other posies... But I've to admit that this song is great.

...xoxo...

2006-01-31T12:38:00.003+07:00

What is xoxo?

*. Real Meanings...

1. Hugs and Kisses. O's = Hugs, X's = Kisses. You can just put O's if you haven't shared a kiss with the person yet.

2. A fairly expensive clothing line for young to middle aged females that mainly specializes in handbags but is not limited to just those; often found in department stores like Macy's and Foley's.

3. " 'XOXO' has a sale where if you buy a sweater you get a purse for half off". :-p

*. Pathetic Meanings...

1. Another term for a female vagina (I remember hearing Nelly's song saying
'I’m slidin’ in past those, fo’ eyes closed, mo’ on Rolls, folk charms rolled With the S-O, S-O, D-E dot F Buyin’ bottles & bottles til there ain’t nothin’ left'

2. The act of slapping someone's face from right to left with your erect... (Probably just lying)

3. To be able to fuck (amen.)

4. Adjective describing a white man with a straight-hair afro.

5. A particularly potent type of vibrator that stimulates a girl's g-spot..

6. A device used to smoke weed with.

:-p G mutu, sama sekali...

xoxo,
XXrejectedXX d1nOnly nbdySDsame.

:-p

...Anything...

2006-01-31T12:38:00.002+07:00

These days I can't help but wonder why
I stick to my illusions to carry on
I'm so ashamed to dream of you
I guess that your out of my league

How I wish that someday
I could belong to your world
Really wish that someday
You'd just take me away

I'll do anything
To hold you in my arms
You look at me, you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past

I'll do anything
To fall asleep with you
I know I'm not that cool
So maybe I should just forget you

Now you set your eyes on me
I turn myself around to see
When your eyes meet mine you'll say
Sorry, then you'll look away

How I wish that someday
I could belong to your world
Really wish that someday
You'd just take me away

I'd do anything
To hold you in my arms
You look at me, you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past

I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I know I'm not that cool
So maybe I should just forget you

I close my eyes
There's nothing I can do to get you
You're on your own

I close my eyes
There's nothing I can do to get you
You're on your own

I'll do anything
To hold you in my arms
You look at me, you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past

I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I know I'm not that cool
I'm not that cool

I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
There's nothing I won't do

I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
I Know you'll never feel the same way too

ps. : Ayooo... Ada yang punya lagu demo "I'd Do Anything" -nya SP ga? Gw dunk punya... :-p

!!!Blindside!!!

2006-01-31T12:38:00.001+07:00

Sedikit tentang latar belakang BLINDSIDE, band ini
tergolong sebagai christian hardcore yang terbentuk
dari daerah Stockholm, Swedia di tahun 1994. Di tahun
1997 mereka merilis debut dibawah label christian,
Tooth & Nail Records dan kemudian di tahun 2002 mereka
bergabung dengan major label, Elektra Records untuk
merilis "Silence" di tahun 2002 dan "About A Burning
Fire" di tahun 2004. Dan kemudian di tahun 2005 mereka
berganti label ke DRT Entertainment untuk merilis
album penuh kelima mereka dengan titel "The Great
Depression" di tahun 2005 dan mereka juga melakukan
tur bersama LINKIN PARK serta HOOBASTANK. Album
BLINDSIDE ini dikirim di akhir tahun 2005 oleh label
mereka dengan kover yang bergaya tahun lama dan
musikyang mereka mainkan seperti perpaduan antara
DEFTONES, JIMMY EAT WORLD dan juga MEWITHOUTYOU
dimana beberapa bagian scream dimasukkan ke dalam musik post hardcore
mereka juga elemen elektronik serta unsur jazz yang
langsung mereka tawarkan di lagu pertama (Heartattack)
setelah intro pembuka. Mengenai lirik? Sangat jelas
sebagai satu band christian mereka tentunya banyak
berbicara tentang kehidupan-kehidupan rohani secara
pribadi. Dengar saja track seperti: 'Ask Me Now' dan
juga 'My Alibi'. But wait... mereka juga memberikan
komentar sosial seperti 'We Are The Follow' dan juga
'We're All Going To Die' serta kehidupan di Afrika,
'Yemkela' yang menceritakan tentang anak laki-laki
berumur 10 tahun yang terinfeksi virus HIV. 'Yemkela'
memiliki progress chord yang cukup agresif. Secara
keseluruhan album ini cukup bagus terutama bagi
penggemar post hardcore. Hanya saja sepertinya
BLINDSIDE memoles beberapa bagian dengan pendekatan
unsur mainstream. Bagi saya, track yang paling
membosankan adalah 'When I Remember'.

...24 Wajah Billy...

2006-01-31T12:38:00.000+07:00

Satu Tubuh dengan 24 Kepribadian

Kisah Nyata Billy

KEPRIBADIAN ganda, hingga kini masih menjadi rahasia terbesar dunia psikiatri. Teori ilmiah yang dicoba dirangkai untuk menjelaskan fenomena ini sering kali berbenturan dengan fakta di luar jangkauan akal sehat.

Setelah Sybil, guru taman kanak-kanak dengan 16 kepribadian mengguncang dunia pada era 70-an, tak banyak literatur ilmiah populer yang mengungkap fenomena kepribadian ganda. Tulisan Daniel Keyes yang muncul di era 80-an ini kemudian memberikan banyak pencerahan.

24 Wajah Billy telah mengguncang Amerika, bukan hanya di kalangan ilmu jiwa melainkan juga masyarakat awam. Kisah kriminal yang dilakukan pria dengan 24 kepribadian ini serta politisasi proses penyembuhan Billy menjadi nilai tambah yang tidak diperoleh dalam Sybil.

Kisah Billy, pemuda sekaligus pemudi, orang dewasa sekaligus anak-anak yang terjebak dalam satu tubuh ini jelas akan memberikan pencerahan buat masyarakat awam maupun ahli ilmu jiwa di negeri ini. Kisah nyata Billy dengan beragam konflik dan penistaan yang dialaminya, diangkat apik oleh Keyes. Sehingga, beberapa adegan kontroversial yang dilakukan Billy tetap dapat disimak tanpa menimbulkan rasa jengah. Pengemasan yang cerdas membuat kalimat yang terurai mudah dipahami namun tetap sarat makna.

Langkah Qanita menerjemahkan buku ini dan melemparkannya pada publik pada Juli lalu, bisa saja menjadi sumber inspirasi kalangan ahli maupun penulis ilmiah populer di Indonesia untuk mengangkat fenomena langka ini.

Qanita pernah sukses ketika menerbitkan kisah Torey Hayden, guru asal Amerika Serikat (AS) yang mencuat karena kiprahnya dalam menangani anak-anak berkebutuhan khusus. Tak lama setelah seri Torey Hayden menangguk sukses di Indonesia, Qanita berhasil menggiring seorang ibu berputra anak autisme menerbitkan kisah hidupnya ke khalayak.

24 Alter ego

Kisah nyata Billy jelas akan menyedot konsentrasi, karena lompatan 24 nama tokoh alter ego bisa timbul tiba-tiba, kapan pun, di mana pun. Namun, lebih jauh dari itu, kisah Billy sang psikotis yang piawai melukis ini telah menyeret realitas kehidupan sosial negara adidaya dengan segala implikasinya.

Billy lahir dan dibesarkan dalam keluarga submarginal yang terseok-seok bertahan dalam tekanan ekonomi dan liberalisme budaya. Keadaan makin buruk bagi Billy ketika ia menjadi korban perilaku seksual menyimpang saat usianya masih sangat belia.

Tarik ulur politis yang kerap menghambat penyembuhan Billy kian menguatkan kenyataan bahwa sesempurna apa pun sistem yang diterapkan negara adidaya tersebut, hak kaum jelata tetap kerap terpinggirkan. American dream ternyata tak seindah opini yang kerap dilontarkan publik AS.

Nyatanya, penyimpangan terjadi di mana-mana, pertanyaan besar tentang eksistensi manusia dan humanisasi merajalela. Billy, mungkin menjadi simbol betapa jargon-jargon kejayaan AS tak mampu menutupi masalah psikososial yang dihadapi masyarakatnya.

Misteri yang tak terjawab

Kendati sejak awal diproklamasikan sebagai buku ilmiah populer, pertanyaan besar justru luput dijawab Keyes. Misteri penyebab munculnya 24 kepribadian dalam satu tubuh tak sedikit pun diungkap buku ini. Kendati secara teoretis masih terdapat pertentangan antar para ahli, semestinya perkembangan terkini teori kepribadian ganda idealnya tetap dinukil.

Catatan lainnya, 24 wajah Billy juga menyiratkan kondisi bahwa perkembangan pemahaman kesehatan jiwa, ternyata tak berbanding lurus dengan perkembangan ilmu dan teknologi kedokteran fisik. Kenyataan itu ternyata tak hanya terjadi di negara-negara berkembang termasuk Indonesia, namun juga di masyarakat modern AS.

Gangguan jiwa kerap disepelekan, tak diwaspadai secara dini. Akibatnya, kerusakan telanjur menjadi kronis dan sulit disembuhkan. Dampaknya, bukan hanya si penderita yang mengalami penderitaan karena sulit beradaptasi di lingkungan sosial, masyarakat di sekitarnya juga terancam terkena dampaknya.

Penderita gangguan perilaku seksual yang tak segera ditangani berpotensi berubah menjadi pelaku kejahatan. Korban mereka pun di masa datang bukannya tak mungkin akan berubah menjadi mimpi buruk bagi komunitasnya. Lingkaran mengerikan yang jelas tak mudah ditangani itu turut mewarnai kisah Billy.

Ketiadaan penjelasan tentang munculnya alter ego dari dua jenis kelamin berbeda dengan rentang usia yang sangat beragam membuat pembaca merasa tak tuntas. Bagi mereka yang masih penasaran, menjelajahi perpustakaan dan browsing di internet untuk menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang masih menggantung menjadi solusi utama.

Pertanyaan paling mendasar bagi pembaca awam adalah pemicu munculnya lebih dari satu alter ego pada satu tubuh manusia. Pertanyaan berikutnya, bagaimana proses pemulihan yang harus dilalui bagi yang memiliki kepribadian ganda.

Misteri selanjutnya adalah pertanyaan apakah orang yang berkepribadian ganda tetap dapat hidup normal dan bersosialisasi dengan wajar di lingkungan publik. Apakah penyatuan kepribadian-kepribadian unik itu menjadi solusi satu-satunya?

24 Wajah Billy memang tak secara tuntas menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu. Keyes mungkin sengaja memancing perhatian publik terhadap fenomena kepribadian ganda.

Tanggapan

Buku yang diklaim penerbitnya laku keras ini dikomentari positif oleh penulis Sybil, Flora Rheta Schreiber. "Benar-benar membuat shock," ujar Schreiber.Sementara itu, Sarlito W Sarwono, psikolog yang juga penerjemah Sybil menyatakan buku 24 Wajah Billy merupakan kisah nyata yang sangat memikat. "Bermanfaat bagi para profesional maupun awam," kata Sarlito.

Di negeri asalnya, buku ini sukses meraih nominasi Edgar Ward dalam kategori kisah nyata kriminal terbaik. Ajang ini diselenggarakan oleh asosiasi penulis misteri AS.

Berikut adalah beberapa kepribadian yang menghuni sosok Billy:

Antara lain, Philip, penjahat kelas teri.

Kevin, otak sebuah perampokan toko obat. April, wanita dengan satu ambisi membunuh ayah tiri Billy. Adalana, lesbian kesepian dan haus cinta, ia memakai tubuh Billy dalam pemerkosaan yang menyebabkan Billy ditangkap. David, anak lelaki 8 tahun, si penanggung rasa nyeri. Ragen, berbahasa Serbo-Kroasia, dan sang guru Billy sendiri digambarkan sebagai lelaki muda yang tersiksa, amnesia, dan kerap menemukan dunianya terpecah-belah dan menakutkan. Billy tak memiliki kendali atas tindakan pribadi-pribadi lain yang bersemayam dalam dirinya.

Billy Milligan ditangkap dan dijebloskan ke penjara karena penculikan dan pemerkosaan tiga wanita di kampus Ohio State University. Namun kemudian, atas dasar alasan kegilaan, pengadilan membebaskannya.

Meragukan kisah Billy dan menganggap fenomena kepribadian ganda hanya isapan jempol dan akting sempurna seorang penipu?

Sketsa lukisan yang disisipkan dalam 24 Wajah Billy membuktikan kisah ini direka dari fakta nyata. Beragam lukisan dengan pulasan yang eksotis dilukis mencerminkan eksistensi tiap kepribadian Billy.

Buat penikmat seni lukis, pasti akan tergoda memiliki salah satu lukisan fenomenal itu. Bagi kaum awam, coretan tangan Billy menggugah inspirasi dan menggoda angan untuk membayangkan betapa misteriusnya sosok Billy dengan 24 karakter yang berbeda satu sama lain.

Penulis

Daniel Keyes lahir di New York. Meraih gelar sarjananya dari Brooklyn College. Novel pertamanya, Flowers for Algernon (difilmkan dengan judul CHARLY) memenangi sejumlah penghargaan.

Tulisannya dalam buku itu menjadi bahan kajian di berbagai sekolah menengah umum dan sekolah setingkat akademi di seluruh AS. Keyes dan istri serta dua orang putrinya yang sudah dewasa kini tinggal di Florida.Dalam situs pribadinya, www.astraeasweb.net terungkap bahwa kisah hidup Billy Milligan akan diangkat ke dalam layar lebar. Sejumlah aktor Hollywood papan atas disebut-sebut menjadi kandidat pemeran Billy. Nama Leonardo DiCaprio menjadi salah satu aktor yang berpeluang besar memainkan tokoh Billy.

Hingga kini, kabar terakhir dari Billy Milligan nyaris tak terdeteksi. Billy terakhir kali memberikan pernyataan pada publik melalui situs tersebut dengan mengkritik keras sistem perawatan di sejumlah institusi kesehatan jiwa milik pemerintah AS.

Ia tak menyebutkan apakah kepribadian-kepribadian dalam dirinya telah menyatu. Namun, dalam babak-babak terakhir tulisan Keyes terungkap bahwa Billy masih berjuang keras meraih dan menyatukan potongan-potongan jiwanya dengan terapi psikiatris.

Billy juga mengkritik keras sikap psikiatris di negerinya yang tak pernah tuntas menyelesaikan masalah kepribadian ganda. Puluhan hingga ratusan pasien kepribadian ganda malah menjadi komoditas penangguk keuntungan. Rumah sakit dan dokter dianggapnya membebankan biaya perawatan yang tak wajar.

Kemarahan Billy yang terungkap dalam kritik pedasnya pada institusi birokrasi dan rumah sakit mencerminkan dendam seorang pengidap kelainan jiwa yang harus melalui proses penyembuhan yang panjang namun tak kunjung sembuh.

"Sistem yang ada di negeri ini harus diubah total. Seorang penderita penyakit jiwa akan makin kronis dengan sistem ini. Mereka jadi objek dari sebuah kejahatan ekonomi yang kejam. Negara ini juga mampu membuat seorang yang sehat menjadi sakit dengan sistemnya yang tak waras," tegas Billy, entah kepribadian siapa yang muncul saat Billy menegaskan sikapnya tersebut. Atau, itu adalah pernyataan Billy yang telah utuh? (Zat/P-5)

n.b. : Resensi buku oleh Akhmad Dody. (http://www.mail-archive.com/himasad@yahoogroups.com/msg00141.html)

...I Don't Wanna Know...

2006-01-30T13:41:00.000+07:00

oenpYour eyes were covered in sunglasses
When they first met mine
I sat there and stared at you
You didn't seem to mind
The awkward ways we meet

First comes heavy breathing
Staring at the ceiling
What will happen next
I don't wanna know
I don't wanna know

I never cared how i dressed before
But i cared that night
Anticipation ran through my bones
And my clothes never fit right
I can't wait 'til we meet again

First comes heavy breathing
Staring at the ceiling
What will happen next
I don't wanna know
I don't wanna know

Framed pictures start to be put on the walls
Constant visits while im out on the road
Its hard to leave sometimes
But you know where i lay my head at night

First comes heavy breathing
Staring at the ceiling
What will happen next
I don't wanna know
I don't wanna know

...

2006-01-30T12:56:00.000+07:00

Uhhh... Saya ga tau apa yang harus saya tulis disini. Everything seems like a blur to me. So unclear... But I have to admit one thing, I FUCKIN' HATE UNCLEARNESS...

Uhhh... Kenapa ini semua harus terjadi dengan saya? Kenapa semua hal yang ada di masa lalu saya datang kembali pada saya? Kenapa saya ada di dunia ini...? Kenapa saya harus hidup... Dan semua 'kenapa-kenapa' yang lain... Semua pertanyaan-pertanyaan aneh itu kali ini selalu terngiang-ternguang dalam kepala saya. Did I do something wrong...? Probably yes. If I'm not, I wouldn't be in this deep shit... Pardon me if I use that word... I just dunno what other word to write to express my feeling right now...

Perasaan yang aneh... Perasaan yang dulu datang setiap saat saya merasa sendiri di dunia ini. Ditinggalin cewe? Yeap. Ditinggalin temen? Yeap. Masa lalu saya yang bahkan saya gak ingin untuk mengingat-ingatnya kembali, kini datang untuk kembali lagi kepada saya.

Kini saya gak tau mau berbuat apa lagi... Saya dah capek dengan semua ini. Kenapa semua gak
bisa berjalan dengan lancar saja sama seperti yang lain? Ahhh... Mungkin dah takdir saya yang demikian, ya? Takdir untuk menjadi seorang 'loser'... Ahhh FUCK!

...

Saya gak tau harus nulis apa lagi...

Mungkin saya belum siap untuk bikin komitmen...

Mungkin saja saya yang salah...

...

Uhhh... Tulisan yang ga jelas...

Se-gak jelas perasaan saya...

I wish that I couldn't feel... Just numb thing in my heart, that's what I want...

...

...

...

...nfp...

*mungkin saya g bisa jadi yang terbaik buat kamu, tapi paling ngga kasih saya kejelasan...*

!!!Thank You!!!

2006-01-29T19:37:00.000+07:00

I thought that I could always count on you
I thought that nothing could come
Between us two
We said as long as we would stick together
We'd be alright
We'd be okay

But I was stupid
And you broke me down
I'll never be the same again

So thank you for showing me
That best friends can not be trusted
And thank you for lying to me
Your friendship, the good times we had
You can have them back
Yeah

I wonder why it always has to hurt
For every lesson that you have to learn
I won't forget what you did to me
How you showed me things
I wish I'd never seen

But I was stupid
And you broke me down
I'll never be the same again

So thank you for showing me
That best friends can not be trusted
And thank you for lying to me
Your friendship the good times we had
You can have them back

When the tables turn again
You'll remember me my friend
You'll be wishing I was there for you

I'll be the one you'll miss the most
But you'll only find my ghost
As time goes by
You'll wonder why
You're all alone

So thank you for showing me
That best friends can not be trusted
And thank you for lying to me
Your friendship and good times we had
You can have them back

So thank you
For lying to me
So thank you
For all the times you let me down
So thank you
For lying to me
So thank you
Your friendship
You can have it back!

...Take This Pain...

2006-01-28T18:36:00.000+07:00

I never know what's wrong with you
nor with me,
but, we used to be very good friends
back then,
We used to talk, chat and have fun together
in old time.
[Something's strange]

Did I hurt you?
Did I hurt you?
Did I hurt you?
I never meant to do that.

Remember when we walk far away from home?
It was fun.
Sit down and we felt the same pain together?
Great memories.
Just think back what I've done.
It was me who never be a good friends.
[Just shot me]

Did I hurt you?
Did I hurt you?
Did I hurt you?
I never meant to do that.

Now you can hit me (right in front of my face!)
You can spit me (right in front of my face!)
You can kill me (deep down in this heart!)
If it can wash away your wound

Now I'm sorry
So sorry
So sorry
Take this Apologize!

...Ridiculous...

2006-01-24T17:18:00.000+07:00

Try not to talk, when there's nothing to say.
Kept bottled up, we get carried away.
Then I fall, then I fall down.
Then we fall down.

And you know that it makes me feel so ridiculous.
A pocket full of posies..

We fall down on the inside; pretty on the outside.
Turn it around, can we turn it around?
Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now.
But it's looking up.

A second chance, a much better day.
A sunset that just won't go away.
Then I fall, then I fall down.
We all fall down.

And you know that it makes me feel so ridiculous.
A pocket full of posies..

We fall down on the inside; pretty on the outside.
Turn it around, can we turn it around?
Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now.
But it's looking up.

And you know you said you'd never end up this way.
Close the door behind you, i just wanna stay for a while.
We all fall down, we all fall down, we all fall down.

Down on the inside; pretty on the outside.
Turn it around, can we turn it around?
Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now.

Down on the inside; pretty on the outside.
Turn it around, can we turn it around?
Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now.
But it's looking up, its looking up, its looking up, its looking up, its looking up.

!!!What Would Jesus Do!!!

2006-01-22T13:54:00.000+07:00

Think this for a moment
David is a problematic kid
He always makes riots everywhere
He just wants to get some respect
Whom he never got on his home
But in his deep heart
He's hurt

What would you do?
What would Jesus do?

Think this for a moment
Sarah left her virginity
to someone whom she loved
Now she's pregnant
And her baby had no father
She cries all night long

What would you do?
What would JESUS do?

Cuz there's no greater love
Than a man who laid down his life
to his friends
And there's no greater love
Than a man who loveth us
so deep and unselfishly

ps. : Another song made by me!! Ayoo... bantu saya memainkannya! :-p

...Who Was I Before... :-)

2006-01-19T13:44:00.000+07:00

Uahhh... Cukup lama juga yah, saya tidak menulis lagi di blog ini. Kalau dihitung-hitung sudah ada satu bulan yah? :-) Saya bukannya malas untuk menulis, hanya saja kehidupan saya akhir-akhir ini sudah mulai berubah, entah kenapa. Saya tidak lagi merasakan kesedihan, kesendirian, dan yang paling penting, bersemangat untuk melanjutkan kehidupan saya.

Yah, seperti yang telah anda ketahui, pada post-post awal saya saya selalu menuliskan tentang kesendirian, amarah, kebencian, dan niat untuk mengakhiri hidup. Awalnya saya berpikir untuk apa saya hidup di dunia ini kalau hanya untuk menambah-nambah masalah. Hidup ini sudah merupakan masalah, tidak perlu lagi ditambah dengan 'masalah', yaitu saya ini. Ahhh... Masa-masa yang kelam. Akhirnya saya mulai berpikir untuk mengakhiri kehidupan saya... Saya sebenarnya sudah capek dengan dunia ini. Dengan segala macam kebohongan dan perbuatan-perbuatan mereka terhadap saya. Saya tidak bisa melihat sisi indah dari dunia. Yang saya lihat hanyalah warna hitam-putih dengan sedikit warna kelabu... Tidak ada bedanya dengan TV hitam putih milik kakek saya. Sungguh palsu, dan tidak berwarna. Pada saat itu saya juga berpikir, untuk apa saya melanjutkan kehidupan saya, toh dunia ini akan terus berlanjut tanpa kehadiran saya.

Saya juga mulai berpikir, apakah ada yang salah dalam diri saya? Apakah saya berbeda dengan mereka? Apakah saya ini di mata mereka? Untuk itulah saya lalu mencoba mencari jati diri saya yang sebenarnya. Sempat saya putus asa dan mulai berpikir untuk bunuh diri... Hahhahah... Ironis sekali bukan? Di dunia yang ramai ini saya merasa kesepian...

Saya tidak pernah mempunyai satupun seseorang yang mengakui keberadaan saya. Mereka tidak perduli dengan saya, dan untuk apa saya perduli dengan mereka? Mereka terlalu egois. Mereka tidak bisa menerima perbedaan. Dan karena saya ini berbeda mereka tidak bisa menerima saya. Saya pesimis? Mungkin. Tetapi dari apa yang saya alami membuat tekad saya bulat. Saya tidak bisa mempercayai mereka. Mereka tidak lebih dari sekumpulan sampah yang hanya bisa menerima sesuatu yang 'sama'. Tidak bisa melihat perbedaan seseorang. Mereka tidak pernah bisa melihat sesuatu dari sisi yang lain.

Tahukah mereka jika orang yang kelihatannya sangat tegar justru orang tersebut adalah orang yang paling lemah? Lemah dalam artian hati yang kalut dan pikiran yang muak, sehingga membutuhkan sesuatu atau seseorang yang bisa mengerti mereka. Ahhh... Pikiran saya sudah terlalu jauh. Yang pasti semua tulisan diatas adalah sesuatu yang terlintas di pikiran saya 3-4 tahun yang lalu. Di saat-saat saya sangat 'jatuh'.

Kini saya mulai pelan-pelan menyadari kalau kita adalah makhluk sosial. Kita tidak bisa selamanya menjadi makhluk individual. Sangatlah berat kehidupan anda jika anda hanya bergantung pada anda sendiri dan tidak membutuhkan orang lain. Percayalah. Dan kunci dari semua itu adalah... Belajarlah untuk menerima perbedaan orang lain, dan belajarlah untuk mempercayai orang lain. Percayalah, it's worked! Itu semua akan menjadikan anda pribadi yang terbuka, dan itu akan membuat anda menemukan paling tidak seseorang yang bisa mengakui keberadaan anda.

Jika anda adalah orang yang putus harapan, muak dengan diri anda, dan berniat untuk mengakhiri hidup anda dan kebetulan membaca post saya kali ini, percayalah, anda tidak sendirian. Masih banyak orang yang bahkan bergantung pada selang infus untuk tetap hidup. Mereka ingin hidup. Lihatlah dunia ini dari sisi yang lain. Orang-orangnya, pribadinya, tingkah lakunya... Anda akan tersenyum mana kala anda mulai bisa membuka diri anda terhadap orang lain. Percayalah, orang itu akan mulai mengakui anda.

Mungkin post saya kali ini sangatlah tidak bermutu. Bahkan cenderung bisa dikatakan 'useless'.. :-) Tapi ini hanyalah sharing saya. Saya mencoba untuk menjadi manusia baru, dan untuk saat ini lumayan berhasil. Pokoknya ingat satu hal: 'Terbukalah terhadap segala macam perbedaan-perbedaan' dan 'Mulailah untuk mempercayai orang lain'. :-)

Be well, peace.

... Kamarku yang kucinta ...

2006-01-15T21:47:00.000+07:00

Nahhhh... Kalo ini gitar-nya si Tom DeLonge... (ngakunya..) Huehuehuehh...

Ampli Washburn BD-01 sama Efek Korg AX-01 saya yang paling saya banggakan!!!

...Nahhh... Gini d tempat saya belajar...

...Saya tidurnya disini...

...Pemandangan kamar saya...

...Women...

2006-01-14T14:46:00.000+07:00

Seorang anak laki-laki kecil bertanya kepada
ibunya, "Mengapa engkau menangis?"

"Karena aku seorang wanita", kata sang ibu kepadanya.

"Aku tidak mengerti", kata anak itu.

Ibunya hanya memeluknya dan berkata, "Dan kau tak
akan pernah mengerti"

Kemudian anak laki-laki itu bertanya kepada
ayahnya,

"Mengapa ibu suka menangis tanpa alasan?"

"Semua wanita menangis tanpa alasan", hanya itu
yang dapat dikatakan oleh ayahnya.

Anak laki-laki kecil itu pun lalu tumbuh menjadi
seorang laki-laki dewasa, tetap ingin tahu mengapa
wanita menangis.

Akhirnya ia menghubungi Tuhan, dan ia bertanya,
"Tuhan, mengapa wanita begitu mudah menangis?"

Tuhan berkata: "Ketika Aku menciptakan seorang
wanita, ia diharuskan untuk menjadi seorang yang
istimewa. Aku membuat bahunya cukup kuat untuk
menopang dunia. Namun, harus cukup lembut untuk
memberikan kenyamanan "

"Aku memberikannya kekuatan dari dalam untuk mampu
melahirkan anak dan menerima penolakan yang
seringkali datang dari anak-anaknya "

"Aku memberinya kekerasan untuk membuatnya tetap
tegar ketika orang-orang lain menyerah, dan
mengasuh keluarganya dengan penderitaan dan
kelelahan tanpa mengeluh "

"Aku memberinya kepekaan untuk mencintai
anak-anaknya dalam setiap keadaan, bahkan ketika
anaknya bersikap sangat menyakiti hatinya "

"Aku memberinya kekuatan untuk mendukung suaminya
dalam kegagalannya dan melengkapi dengan tulang
rusuk suaminya untuk melindungi hatinya "

"Aku memberinya kebijaksanaan untuk mengetahui
bahwa seorang suami yang baik takkan pernah
menyakiti isterinya, tetapi kadang menguji
kekuatannya dan ketetapan hatinya untuk berada
disisi suaminya tanpa ragu "

"Dan akhirnya, Aku memberinya air mata untuk
diteteskan. Ini adalah khusus miliknya untuk
digunakan kapan pun ia butuhkan."

Kau tahu ??

Kecantikan seorang wanita bukanlah dari pakaian
yang dikenakannya, sosok yang ia tampilkan, atau
bagaimana ia menyisir rambutnya.
Kecantikan seorang wanita harus dilihat dari
matanya, karena itulah pintu hatinya - tempat
dimana cinta itu ada.

...When You Met Your Father...

2006-01-13T16:58:00.000+07:00

When You Met Your Father
(From Blink-182 song's - When You Fucked Grandpa)

When you met your father did you tell him that you loved him?
and thank him for his love and for all his meaningful taught?
He ask you to comeback into the right way of the life
But you said no...

I seem like a total asshole
I am a total fucking asshole
Who would stick my crazy thought in their ass?
My dad doesn't want to

...

ps. : Another remake done by me!! Sing it along, it's damn catchy, man!!

...This Song's About You...

2006-01-10T11:50:00.000+07:00

This song's about you
And all the things you put me through
This song's about the thing
you do that drives me crazy
This songs about the things that you do to get to me
So I point my finger look at you?
Understanding all too well why
I know you're weakness
I can notice your reaction I felt it building up
Why don't you just let it go feel it slip away
Why don't you just let it go
(Repeat)

ps. : Aahhh... nfp... Just watch and listen to them!!! 28 Days RAWK!!!!!!!!!!!!

...Just The Girl...

2006-01-10T11:27:00.000+07:00

She's cold and she's cruel
But she knows what she's doin'
She pushed me in the pool
At our last school reunion
She laughs at my dreams
But I dream about her laughter
Strange as it seems
She's the one I'm after

[Chorus:]
Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more
She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

She can't keep a secret
For more than an hour
She runs on 100 proof attitude power
And the more she ignores me
The more I adore her
What can I do?
I'd do anything for her

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more
She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

And when she sees it's me
On her caller ID
She won't pick up the phone
She'd rather be alone
But I can't give up just yet
Cause every word she's ever said
Is still ringin' in my head
Still ringin' in my head

She's cold and she's cruel
But she knows what she's doin'
Knows just what to say
So my whole day is ruined
Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more
Oh, I keep comin' back for more
She's just the girl I'm lookin' for
Just the girl I'm lookin' for
I'm lookin' for
I'm lookin' for
I'm lookin' for
Just the girl I'm lookin' for

ps. : You're The Girl That I'm Lookin' For, dude! :-)

!!! 28 Days !!!

2006-01-06T17:45:00.000+07:00

Our very honorable band of the week is...

SOOOOO... FUCKIN' KEWL, MAN!!!!!!

...nfp...

Yang pasti mereka keren abissss!!!!

!!!New Year Wishlist!!!

2006-01-01T15:59:00.000+07:00

Aahhh... Year 2005 soon will be left, and 2006 is as near as it's in our eyes, guys!! So I decided to reflect what I've done on this year, and I made the wishlist for what I'm gonna do on the next year. Here's some of them:

*** 1st Priority
1. BELAJAR EXTRA KERASSSS!!!
> Yeaahh... Tau sendiri kan, nilai-nilai saya di semester satu bener2 ancur! jadi paling nggak saya harus memperbaikinya di semester ini... Ummhhh... bukan hanya memperbaiki kali, yah... Target saya cuman satu: LULUS!!!

2. MASUK UGM (Universitas nGgarai Mlarat...)!!!
> Mmm... Ini mungkin follow up dari target saya pada poin pertama. Mungkin target saya kali ini agak sedikit tidak realistis mengingat nilai-nilai saya yang, bisa dikatakan, gak meyakinkan untuk bisa masuk ke universitas sekelas UGM. Tapi, yahhh... Saya harus memperjuangkan apa yang saya anggap benar, bukan? Tidak realistis bukan berarti mustahil untuk dilakukan, iya gak? :-)

3. BACK TO MY HEAVENLY FATHER, LORD JC!!!
> Yah, sudah 3 tahun ini kehidupan kerohanian saya sama JC bisa dikatakan murtad. Saya cuman datang ke gereja 3 bulan sekali untuk ikut perjamuan kudus, selebihnya paling pol cuman dateng ke persekutuan. Itu aja datengnya cuman mo ngumpul ma temen-temen. Pokoknya ga menghargai JC banget, deh! Tapi gak untuk tahun ini. Saya sudah mulai mencoba untuk SaTe selama beberapa bulan ini, dan guess what, It works, dude!

4. MENJADI MANUSIA BARU!!!
> Saya gak ingin menjadi diri saya yang tahun-tahun lalu. Saya ingin menjadi manusia baru, yang bisa menghargai seseorang dan (hopefully) seseorang tersebut bisa menghargai saya. Saya juga ingin mencoba untuk menjadi manusia yang bisa menerima kekurangan orang lain, dan tidak menutup diri dari kehidupan di luar sana. Yah, seperti kata iklannya Clear Metamorphoself... MENJADI DIRI SENDIRI ITU BUTUH NYALI!!! Kayaknya kehidupan-kehidupan saya selama ini 'bukan gue banget', deh! Saya selama ini hanya mencoba untuk menjadi orang lain, bukan untuk menjadi diri saya sendiri. I HAVE TO FORCE MYSELF TO EXPRESS MY REAL ME. :-)

5. ...MAKE MY PARENTS PROUD OF ME...
> Ummmhhh... Yah, saya tahu, dalam 3 tahun ini orang tua saya bener-bener gak bisa bangga terhadap diri saya. Sudah berkali-kali orang tua saya dipanggil ke sekolah, belum lagi dengan masalah pergaulan saya di luar sana. Ummmhhh... Kacau de, pokoknya! Jadi, di tahun anjing api kali ini saya dah berkomitmen: Hey, Mom, Dad, YOU'LL BE PROUD OF YOUR ONLY SON!!!

*** 2nd Priority
1. GANTI GITAR!!
> Yah, emang sih, gitar saya masih layak pakai, dan itu adalah gitar listrik pertama saya, which is, I'm very proud of it. Tapi... Yah... Gimana yah, perkembangan jaman emang susah ditebak dan kebutuhan akan peralatan yang memadai bagi gitaris profesional seperti saya (hoeekkk...) membuat saya memutuskan untuk mengganti gitar saya. Jadi, di tahun 2006 nanti gak ada lagi yang namanya gitar Washburn biru kelam... Yang ada hanyalah gitar Fender Stratocaster TDS!!! Hehehehehh... Yah, resolusinya paling gak saya harus nabung sedikit demi sedikit... :-)

2. ...Ummhhh... (Berat saya nulisnya...) ...BERHENTI MEROKOK...
> Yah, paling ngga dikurangin lah, sedikit demi sedikit. Saya pikir-pikir sayang juga uangnya buat dibakar-bakar. Mending buat nraktir temen, iya gak? :-) Hehehehh... Gak juga seh. Rencanya saya cuman ngerokok 1 hari satu batang... Trus 3 hari satu batang, dan seminggu satu batang! Mmmhhh... Susah sih, cuman kan bukan berarti gak mungkin untuk dilakukan, iya gak? :-)

3. BIKIN PIERCING 9 MILI!!!
> Rekor saya sebelumnya seh 6 mili. Tahun ini saya gak main-main, kalau dah lulus nanti saya bakal bolongin kuping saya sebesar 9 mili!!! Segitu gedenya hingga Bu Lies-pun bisa masuk dengan mudah!!! (Uuhhh... Hiperbola banget gak sehh??? :-) Huehuehuehehh... Eh, tapi ini serius, loh!!

4. DUA LABRET PIERCING!!!
> Di tahun depan saya bakal ngebolongin bibir saya di bagian tengah ma pinggir. Nindiknya-pun gak lagi di Malang Plaza, tapi (Insya Allah...) di Ish-Kabible!!!

5. NGEBENTUK BAND PUNK!!!
> Sebenarnya seh, ini rencana jangka panjang saya. Rencananya saya pengen bentuk band punk dengan format 3 orang dan bisa ngetop sampe seluruh penjuru dunia!!! Sekarang tinggal nyari personel-personelnya ajah. Mmmm... Jika ada yang berminat dengan lagu-lagu Blink-182 ato Bowling For Soup, kita bikin band yuk?

6. GANTI KOMPI!!!
> Duh, kompi saya dah jadul banget neehhh... Dah bau tanah... Sudah saatnya diganti!!!

7. BELI IPOD!!!
> Ini penting juga. Emang enak cuma dengerin lagu dari mp3 player kecil yang cuman muat 128 mb???

8. KETEMU SAMA TOM DELONGE
> Uhhh... Gak mungkin kali yah? Kenapa engga? Orang Tuhan Yesus aja bisa merubah air jadi anggur, kenapa saya gak bisa ketemu ma Tom Delonge??? Kenapa Coba??? (Set... Gak nyambung!)

9. DAPET KASET-KASET BAND YANG GAK BAKAL BISA SAYA DAPETIN DI INDONESIA!!!
> Kaset-kaset/CD-CD macam Dead Poetic, Hawk Nelson, FM Static, ato Coheed And Cambria!!! Harus punya! Jangan ngaku anak emo kalo blom punya kaset-kaset mereka!

10. Ini neh yang penting... BUNUH TRIJAKA!!!
> Mmmhhh... Lulusan masih 6 bulan lagi yahh... Uuhhh... Saya dah siap samurai, pentungan ma AK-47 neh... Sekarang tinggal gimana kita susun rencana ajah. Gimana temen-temen??? SETUJUUUU...??!!

*** TOP MOST PRIORITY ***

(Mengapa saya letakkan di bagian yang paling akhir? Gak papa, biar dramatis ajahh... :-)

Mmmmm... FIND MY SOULMATE!!!
> Yah, gw juga laki-laki, bo! Emang enak ngejomblo 3 tahun?? Yah, paling engga itu adalah target saya yang paling utama. Obsesi? Bisa jadi. Tapi kita semua harus mempunyai obsesi untuk mencapai suatu tujuan biar apa yang kita targetkan gak meleset jauh. Tapi kalau dah yang namanya PH, kita gak boleh berobsesi tanpa ditambah dengan yang namanya rasa CINTA. Yahh... Intinya saya berobsesi untuk menemukan cinta saya. Dan saya juga berharap dia bisa mencintai saya, sama seperti saya mencintai dia... Tapi menurut saya kata yang paling tepat lebih dari sekedar cinta adalah... 'SAYANG'. Susah? Mungkin juga. Tetapi paling enggak saya harus memperjuangkan apa yang saya anggap benar, iya gak?

Mmmhhh... Last but not least, I wanna say thanks to someone, wherever you are... You thaught me how to love. You thaught me how to share each other. You thaught me how to act like a true lovers... At least for me. :-)

Mmmmhhh... WELCOME 2006!!! HOPE IT'D BE MY GREATEST YEAR ON MY WHOLE LIFE!!!

...Never There...

2006-01-01T15:43:00.000+07:00

Ummhhh... Masih ingat dengan lagu yang saya tulis satu bulan yang lalu? Well, akhirnya liriknya selesai saya tulis!! Sekarang tinggal cari yang maen ajahh... Cuman saya masih kesulitan cari melody lagunya. Maunya sih saya buat yang mirip-mirip sama Funeral For A Friends gitu, tapi ga tau lagi deh.

Never There

All my words that came from my mouth are lies
Been grown up to this place, what lies beneath?
So I'm diggin' my own crypt
Lookin' for my bodies and it's never there

So I'm holdin' my very own skull
and you're the one who pulled me down
back to the hell
I'm cryin' out to God and He's never there

So I'm lookin' for the light
Lookin' up for the skies
Yellin' out for the sun
And it's never there

...You're never there...

So I'm holdin' my very own skull
and you're the one who pulled me down
back to the hell
I'm cryin' out to God and He's never there

... You're never there...

... You're never there...

So I'm lookin' for the light
Lookin' up to the skies
Yellin' out to the sun
And it's never there

So I'm lookin' for the light
Lookin' up to the skies
Yellin' out to the sun
And it's never there

I decided to run away
Run away...
Run away...
I wished I never there...

So I'm lookin' for the light
Lookin' up to the skies
Yellin' out to the sun
And it's never there

So I'm lookin' for the light
Lookin' up to the skies
Yellin' out to the sun
And it's never there

... You're never there...

... You're never there...

... You're never there...

!!!!!!I DON'T WANNA GROW UP!!!!!!

2005-12-29T00:29:00.000+07:00

This is who I am
and this is what I like
GC, Sum and Blink and Mxpx rocking my room
if your looking for me
I'll be at the show
I could never find a better place to go

Until the day I die I promise I won't change
so you better give up
I don't wanna be told to grow up
and I don't wanna change
I just wanna have fun
I don't wanna be told to grow up
and I don't wanna change
so you better give up
cause I'm not gonna change
I don't wanna grow up

I like to stay up late
spend hours on the phone
hanging out with all my friends
and never being at home
I'm impolite and I make fun of everyone
I'm immature but I will stay this way forever

Until the day I die I promise I won't change
so you better give up
I don't wanna be told to grow up
and I don't wanna change
I just wanna have fun
I don't wanna be told to grow up
and I don't wanna change
so you better give up
cause I'm not gonna change

I don't wanna grow up
I don't wanna be told to grow up (grow up, grow up)
I don't wanna be told to grow up (grow up, grow up)

I don't wanna be told to grow up
and I don't wanna change
I just wanna have fun
I don't wanna be told to grow up
and I don't wanna change
so you better give up
I don't wanna be told to grow up
and I don't wanna change
I just wanna have fun
I don't wanna be told to grow up
And I don't want to change
So you better give up
No I don't want to change
So you better give up
Cause I'm not gonna change
I don't wanna grow up!

ps. : Listen, mom, dad, no matter what you told me about my attitude and my future... I JUST DON'T WANNA GROW UP!!! Being mature is just as sucks as shitty llama's ass does... So if you guys accidentally read this, (hopefully not... :-), PLEASE STOP TALKIN' ABOUT SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T EVEN CAME TO MY HEAD!!! Right now I'm as happy as Jesus did... Yeaaahhh... JESUS OF SUBURBIA RAWKK!!!

Sorry if y'all have to read this, pal. As you know, these day are just like hell to me. There's no day without some lecture from my dad. And guess what, it really-really pisses me off!!!

Diary of The Loser

Check It Out!

It's Not Your Fault

SAYAT!

Aku Kangen (Dunia Ini Indah Tanpamu)

bipolar,,

one night of mine,,

School Is So Uncool

What Do You Want To Be?

hood,,

haiku makasi temple,,

ABCD

haiku tangis,,

heartbreaker?? huahuahauaha

everybody doesnt know what i felt

...me...

...Love, Like...

...How Fool I Am...

The Suicidal Note of Kurt Donald Cobain, 1967-1994

...Cigarette...

...HAI...

!!!No one like Mother, Love You!!!

...Slight Little Notes From Yesterday's Opening Ceremonial...

!!!Remember This, Kids!!!

!!!Bangga:Pride:Priden:Wakzz:Gdubrak!!!

....HAhaHahAhAHHahaha...

...The Rebirth Of My Blog...

...Going Away To College...

...ANNOUNCEMENT...

Who Am I? I'm Capricornians!

The Rose Song

...My Friends Over You...

It Hurts

...Miles Apart...

Famous

...This Is Why I Hate Moslems...

...@#!*%##@$...

...Garasi...Newport...What Else?... :-p

!!!I'LL WATCH YOU CRASH AND BURN!!!

...Tanggal Lahirmu, Tipe Percintaanmu...

***Angele Lek Nglamar Ndek Jawa***

...Eyesore...

!!!Don't Stay!!!

...Hujan Dihatiku...

...Not Now... (Again... :-p)

***Lubang-Lubang Di Pagar Kayu***

...?Crazy Week?...

!!!JUMP!!!

!!!I'd Do Anything!!!

i.do.hate

...I Feel So...

...Untitled... (Again!!! :-p)

...Sebelum Kamu Mengeluh...

***Nice Guys Finish Last*** -> Dari bul-nya fs. :-p

***Rayuan Gombal*** :-p

!!!JUANCOK!!!

...Time To Break Up...

...Wasting Time...

!!!I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT YOU!!

!!!Test Ur Knowledge!!!

...It's Just An Obsession, Guys!...

...My Alien...

!!!WTF!!!

...Mistaken...

...Seeking The 'One'... :-p

...Lucu Juga...

... I Miss You ...

!!!I'm All Alone!!!

...Our Inner Feelings...

Alcohol And Straight-Edge Perspective

!...Pathetic...!

... :-p ...

!!!I Feel Fine!!!

...The Power Of Songs...

...xoxo...

...Anything...

!!!Blindside!!!

...24 Wajah Billy...

...I Don't Wanna Know...

...

Angele Lek Nglamar Ndek Jawa

Lubang-Lubang Di Pagar Kayu

Nice Guys Finish Last -> Dari bul-nya fs. :-p

Rayuan Gombal :-p